PLAIN and PROUD: Book 1 (BxB n LGBT)

Chapter 24: Starving for Love

Keith's POV

I am 18 years old and I don’t know why I’m still alive. Don’t be silly. I’m not suicidal. I’m just being a bit more contemplative than usual. I’m one of those kids who want to live life to the fullest but also looking for a true meaning behind it. Sometimes in life you should take a halt and contemplate on the reality and the lies. Yes I’m purely French but there’s nothing really to be proud of. I have a feeling that I was one of those prestigious Nouveau Mouvement members back in nineteenth century France or maybe I’m one of the catalyst for the French Revolution and now I’m reincarnated in this body, like the endless flow of the French Riviera. As of this very moment I basically have everything that I could’ve ever wished for in life. But I would always find something lacking behind all the beautiful and wonderful things surrounding me, my family, stable wealth, youth and beauty. It seems like all that is greatly pointless.

“I could hear you thinking all the way from here, you know. What’s in your mind, mon cher?” Her solemn and concerned voice broke the temporary self-contemplation mode. I turned my face to my right and met her gorgeous eyes looking back at mine like it’s a dance of passionate affair. I finally got what I wanted. I’ve slept with the American girl that I’ve always looked forward to for months now and I could still feel emptier inside. She didn’t fill up the hole as I expected and I should’ve known that I should not have put my hopes too high. It was like any other one night stands that I’ve experienced before.

She caressed my face with her soft hand so delicately as if my face was made of the finest porcelain. She trailed her fingers from my forehead to the tip of my nose down towards my lips with such admiration and then ran her fingers aside to play with my long, dark blond hair. I shook my head and scooted closer to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. Her body reacted normally to my touch and I do believe that we had the best intercourse session last night. You could see it written all over in her gracious yet lust-filled smile.

 "Nothing ma chérie, I’m just missing my French villa back home. And I’m just mesmerized by your beauty that’s all,” I’m telling her the truth. People can say that I’m just being a heartless casanova, or an awesome flirtatious French boy with seductive words to offer but they didn’t know me that well. I appreciate other’s beauty just as much as I valued mine.

I’m just not into relationships at the moment because I’m just plain scared of the complications and the repercussions if one of us is heartbroken which ended in nothing but hatred and tears. It’s too much really. Too unbearable for my own good. I’m not that wicked to break others and I’m not that stupid to fall for it either.

                Short term, no-strings-attached fun is much more practical. It’s greatly acceptable and agreeable with most people and not to forget, so much more endurable for me. It’s not really based of cruel intentions, certain people are just not into long-term romance and instead strive more into lust. Back in France, I’ve been with a few guys and girls alike because I knew that satisfying them would in return satisfy me as well. It’s all about mutual need to quench each other’s taste for affection and carnal instincts. Nothing more. But I’m very selective with whom I sleep with and I absolutely despise timewasters. I’ve tried both online hook-ups and meeting people in clubs – whoever came up with the idea of fake IDs is a gifted genius – after a few drinks at night. I would bring them back home for some extra loving and the next morning we would then go off our separate ways. I’m fully aware that I’m still young and I still had my whole life ahead of me but my parents don’t care much as long as I’d stay responsible and be safe about it.