The Chance To Be With You [B1A4 Fanfiction]

Chapter 25: Happy While It Lasts

          Time passed, months passed, since that day of his party and perhaps it could be said that things fell into a relatively calm pace. If I were to be completely honest, it did kind of feel like we were an actual couple. We could now freely go out in public and do everything that we pleased. It was strange at first to have Jinyoung by my side all of the time, but I quickly got used to it and actually enjoyed having him there. I liked knowing that he was beside me, silently protecting me, watching over me, loving me. It was like I got some silent satisfaction over the fact that I knew that there was someone who loved me out in the world, someone who always looked out for my well-being.

Jinyoung had moved back in with his parents and I was still staying in my small room but it seemed like he had moved in with me. There were times when he spent the night but we would never get any sleep on those days. We should just lie next to each other and stare at the ceiling. We would hold hands and I surprisingly felt very content and very happy. I didn't want to change those moments for the world and I certainly didn't want the time to keep going. But there was nothing we could change about that.

I probably didn't understand it at first. Up until that moment I had never really understood what being happy entailed. Of course I thought I was happy with my life, or rather, I just understood my life for what it was. But after spending time with Jinyoung, him doing things for me, me doing things for him, the mutual agreement and understanding we had, I learned what it meant to be happy, what it meant to feel it and to enjoy it. To kind of live in the moment without anyone interfering.

But despite me learning all about that, it definitely didn't feel like I had known him for a year. It didn't feel that long. To me, it felt just like yesterday. Okay, that's a lie, it felt longer than a day, but a year? I was surprised when he told me that. How had my life been capable of changing that much within the span of a year? I had just been living my same old way for the past twenty years, I went through the same old schedule with the same old people. I lived doing things for myself and because I, myself, wanted to do them. There was no one to influence me and I was independent of my surroundings. Then he showed up and changed it all.

I'm not saying that that's a bad thing, it's a good thing, a very good thing. However, it was still something of a shock to me. Everything changed in a year. There was no other way to put it. I was simply just not the same Seo Minyoung that I was a year ago.

"What are you smiling for?" he asked as he slowly approached me. I was standing against the wall of the building where my apartment was located. I was so lost in my memories that I hadn't even seen him come up, let alone probably hear him the first time he attempted to talk to me.

"Nothing," I said shaking my head. Even though it had been a year, there were still some things that I would be nervous or embarrassed about, such as revealing my inner thoughts to him. Honestly, it was probably because I'm not used to it, still not used to it, and probably never would be. I never expressed my inner thoughts to anyone before and while sure, I knew that there were some moments I did, sometimes things would be too embarrassing. That's why I wrote it in a letter for him.

I was planning on giving him the letter later, as the last thing of the day because I didn't want to be there when he read it. If that happened I would have probably wanted to run and hide somewhere where he wouldn't be able to find me. I might've been too embarrassed to ever face him again but the words that he once said to me about it being easier to write letters to express yourself always stayed with me. He was right, I felt better, perhaps freer after I wrote the letter to my mother. So then I thought why not write a letter for him? I had always known that I was clumsy when it came to speaking but it always seemed like, after a little inspiration, writing came just a tad bit easier to do.