The Chance To Be With You [B1A4 Fanfiction]

Chapter 8: Different Feelings

          “Thanks for amusing my friends tonight, I know they can be a bit…well, you probably know after spending some time with them,” Jinyoung chuckled.

          It was already nearing eleven thirty by the time that we all decided to call it a night and he was walking me back. I learned that the guys were all roommates and they all bonded because of their roots in the countryside. They seemed like great friends and internally, I wondered if something like that would ever happen to me.

          I blamed it all on Jinyoung, though. He was the one that made me start wondering of friendships and how they exactly happened. But maybe it was just because I was cut off from the world for so long that everything was new and interesting. I didn’t have high hopes, though, I simply wondered. Even though we all had exchanged contact information, it wasn’t like I actually expected them to do anything with it. I probably wasn’t going to.

        “It was fun,” I told him after a sigh. “I had fun. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I had any.”

          “Why don’t you?” he wondered. “Why do you spend your time at the hospital or at your part-time jobs or studying? Why don’t you take a break once in a while?”

          “Because I can’t.” I leaned against the outside wall of my room and crossed my arms over my chest. “I have to take care of my mother and I have to earn money and I have to get an education. Those are the three things that are most important to me.”

          “Hmm,” he hummed as though he were debating something in his head.

          “Why did you…” I began to say before I thought about it for a second time.

          “What?” he wondered.

          “Why did you take me to meet your friends tonight?” I asked figuring that it’d just be good to ask him straightforward instead of making up reasons inside my head. He started at me for a moment as if trying to think of a reason. “If you don’t have a reason you don’t have to make one up.”

          “I’m not making one up,” he said looking at me with faint traces of hurt in his eyes. “There’s just too many that I’m trying to narrow it down to one.”

          “Too many reasons for me to meet your friends?”

          “Of course,” he exclaimed as if in disbelief that I didn’t believe him.

          “Why would there be so many reasons?”

          “First off, you’re great, I mean, if that’s not a reason itself…but I mean, I wanted my friends to like you, too.”

          “Huh…okay,” I said. I didn’t completely understand where he was going with that, but I felt like I understood enough. “Well then, goodnight.”

          “Minyoung, wait a minute,” he said before I could open the door. My hand lingered on the doorknob before I turned around and looked at him again. “There’s more than that to having you meet my friends.” I didn’t say anything and waited for him to continue. “I…I wanted them to like you, as much as I like you.”

          “Oh,” I softly said. I didn’t know what I could say. Did that mean that he just wanted them to like me as a friend, too? I knew that I wasn’t a person who was difficult to get along with, I was just someone who didn’t open up very easily.

          “I didn’t mean it like that,” he quickly said. “What I mean is…” he started before he sighed and leaned against the wall next to the door. “I didn’t imagine that it’d be this difficult.”

          I still didn’t say anything and just looked at him. His eyes were closed and I took that chance to study his features up close. I saw how sharp his nose looked and how peaceful he seemed with his eyes closed. Because I was too busy staring at him I didn’t notice that he had opened his eyes and was looking at me.

          “Do you like what you see?” he asked with a sly smile.

          “It’s-it’s not that,” I stuttered and quickly tried to fumble with opening the door, but Jinyoung placed his hand on top of mine and it immediately sent chills down my body. It was like I was able to feel everything that he did, every move and every action, like I could feel the heat radiating off of him. I noticed how thin his fingers were and how they wrapped around my hand, pulling it away from the doorknob.

          “Minyoung-ah,” he gently said and I gradually turned to look at him. “I like you. I really like you.” I stared at him as he tried to think of the right words to say. “And I know it’s selfish of me, me liking you, but I wanted my friends to meet you because I wanted to show them how…awesome you are.”

          “I…”

          “You don’t have to answer me,” he said shaking his head. “You don’t have to answer me or say anything for that matter. If you want, we can just imagine that this never happened.”

        I tried to think of something to say, but I didn’t know what. What could I say? Did I like him back? Sure, maybe we had known each other for a while, but it wasn’t like we knew a great deal about one another. It wasn’t like I knew a whole bunch about him, but I guess that was the point of relationships. It was getting to know someone better by spending time with them, but was I ready for that?

          “I…I’ll think about it,” I finally said once I got my voice back.

          “Alright,” he said with a gentle smile, his hand falling off of mine. “Well, we do have each other’s numbers now. So if you need anything, I’ll always just be a phone call away.”

          “Yeah, I guess you will be,” I said with an awkward laugh. I knew that it wasn’t ideal, but I didn’t know how else to deal with the situation. It wasn’t like I had people knocking down my door to date me.

          “Goodnight, Minyoung.”

          “Goodnight…Jinyoung-oppa,” I said hesitantly adding his name. I saw a bright smile come across his face as he waved and disappeared down the stairs.

          I spent a little more time outside thinking over his confession, but in the end, I was still confused and I had no idea how to proceed forward.