Beloved.

Chapter 21: The Guy Who Saved me.

Its around 5:00PM. I look at the carpet floor of my living room and fiddle with my fingernails.

I kill the silence. "Are you still depressed? Like, from everything that happened to you, i didn't know if you still, or if, you know you rarely talk about you at all, i just-"

"No. I'm not. Can we not talk about it?" Harry says, interrupting me.

"and do you think i liked talking about myself to you, Harry? Did you think i wanted you to save me from dying? Or the time i ran home and started cutting myself, did you think i wanted you to help me?"

"Katlyn calm down," Harry said.

"No, i didn't, Harry! So stop keeping it to yourself and just fucking tell me!" I yell, "and i wouldn't have even find out about all of that other stuff if i didn't read your journal!"

"Katlyn,"

"I have been completely honest with everything that happen to me, which you still don't know all of or understand, so its time for you to step up. Its your turn!" I finish talking. I have nothing else to say.

"And you invaded my privacy! I never told you to steal my book or even read it! And you should be thankful that i saved you from dying, because that was the worst decision you have made-"

"No. The worst decision i made was letting you save me. The worst decision i made was talking to you. The worst decision i made was self harming. No, i know the worst decision, it was starving myself! But the worst decision YOU have made, was saving me."

"Wait- you are starving yourself?" Harry asks, grabbing my arm. I avoid eye contact, and rip my arm from his grasp. I walk to the bathroom and lock the door. I slide down the side of the door, my head in my knees.

"Katlyn, listen to my words." Harry said. I don't reply.

Harry sighs, "If i didn't know it was the right decision to commit suicide or not, i would have been dead. and i wouldn't have found all the good things that have happened to me." Harry sits with his back to the door on the other side of the door to the bathroom.

I sniffle, "like what?"

Harry chuckles, "well lets see," he starts listening off all the pros, "surviving my suicide attempt, overcoming the most of my depression, looking at everything on the bright side instead of the bad, protecting you at school, meeting you, saving you from all most killing yourself-"

I cut him off for a second, "meeting me is a good thing?" I chuckle.

"Well yeah, if i didn't meet you, i wouldn't have pretty much overcome my depression... When i saw you getting harassed at school, i wouldn't have realize how my life has made so much progress and not becoming worse. Then i saw how much you were suffering, i realized my life wasn't the worst out of everyone, and people go through the same things. i want to help you, because no one was there for me, and if i died, i couldn't have come and save you from committing suicide and making the wrong decision, you would have been gone, Katlyn. I remember crying at the hospital when they wouldn't tell me if you where alive or dead yet."

I start crying, "you were crying?" I asked.

"Yeah. Katlyn, i can't imagine you not being here. Katlyn i will always help you understand that until you finally do."

I think for a second. "I do."

"Can you please come out now?" He asks. Him and i both get up off the floor. I unlock the door and run straight to him and hug him. He hugs me back, and this isn't just a normal hug. Its the hug full of understanding, protection, sympathy, love, and emotion. his towering hight covers up my body, this is one of the best hugs anyone could ever get. I just want to stay like this forever.

"You are beautiful without makeup." Harry whispers into my ear. As he says it i realize I'm still in my pjs, my hairs crazy, i have my glasses on my face, and i have no makeup on.

"Shit!" I say cover my face with my hands, laughing a little.

"Its okay," he says as he grabs my hands and pulls them away from my face. He smiles. A grin appears on my face.

"Did you eat today?"

"Uh, yeah. Of course." I say. As i am about to walk to the living room, he grabs my arm.

"What did you eat?"

"Cereal." I tell him.

He looks at my eyes.

"You are lying." He says.

"How do you know-"

"Eat." He commands me.

He can't just expect me to eat, its not that easy.

"I don't need it, I'm fine." I say and try pulling my arm away, he just holds it tighter.

"How many times have you used that one before?" He asks. It goes quiet.

"You need to eat. Its not a decision to eat, you need it. How many meals do you eat a day?" He asks.

"Why does this all matter so much to you? Can you just let me do what i want?" I say.

"What you want isn't right!" He yells. He walks into the kitchen and grabs saltines that where in the cabinet. He hands them to me.

"If you wont eat a meal, you will eat these." I pause for a second to think. Then i grab them. I eat a couple and then shove them away from me.

"You are tired because you don't eat, you get headaches because you don't eat, you cry so much because you don't eat. You need to keep eating. What you're doing is dangerous." Harry says and sits on the couch next to me.

"Thats it. You should be happy i ate anything."

"I am." He says.

"I'm sorry." i say, putting my head on his shoulder.

"For what?" Harry asks me.

"For crying so much, being a brat, cutting, not eating, attempting to commit suicide, for reading your journal, being so moody, constantly complaining about my life and my problems, not listening to you, making you cry, getting you hurt for going after my journal-"

He looks at me, "You don't have to apologize. Its not you who is doing all this, its depression, and i'm letting you let it all out, because its always better to let it out then keeping it all locked inside."

"Thank you for looking after me. I never expected anyone to care, like why would anyone? It doesn't involve them and its not even their life. But you came in and took me in, accepted me for who i am, and out of no where, too. I couldn't be more thankful for just having you."

Harry smiles. Thats the biggest smile i have ever seen him have, its the cutest thing ever, both dimples popping out on both sides of his cheeks.

"Well same to you, like, all that you just said. i guess we both could say we are the only ones who accept each other at school." I smile at him.

He will never understand how much i appreciate him.