Words.

Every time I see her

Every time I see her, I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing, she's just a friend, she's just my best friend.

 People do compliment the idea of the two of us together, they compliment the potential possibility of us dating and being one. I've never really knocked the idea, nor have I encouraged it. They'll tease us and say we're perfect or that we'd be 'cute' together and she'll just chuckle or roll her eyes or turn them back to her book or work, she's always reading, she's always so busy. Too busy to ever be with anyone, let alone me, the neediest man on the face of the earth. 

She's pretty, she's not utterly heart-stopping gorgeous but she's definitely got her good angles and she's got these brown eyes that change into a lighter brown in the sun or they go hazy in the shade. They're quite pretty. Like her hair, it's also brown, see, not a shocking colour. She continuously complains that its frizzy and hard to tame and its very rarely set to perfection but when it is, it's quite nice. It also has these golden, light brown streaks in them, they're pretty but just like her they're hidden, her best bits are hidden. Her smile is quite contagious, just like her laugh.

Personality, I like it. I mean, she listens, she's a really good listener and her advice is faultless, she understands that she doesn't always understand and that's refreshing. She has everyone's best interest at heart, sometimes, you find yourself fighting for her attention but that's just because everyone wants a piece of her and her nature. I confide in her, she doesn't complain, she willingly listens and she has this aura about her that makes her seem extremely trustworthy and she's just so lovable. Sure, if she gets bad vibes from you, she's savage and she'll go to hell for the things she says but honestly, if you click with her, she's just wonderful. Funny, her humour is expensive unlike her taste. She's that girl who prefers silver over gold and sees the potential in the stones and rocks buried in the dirt rather than the already discovered beauty in the diamonds. 

She reads everything and writes whenever she cries and she's smart, she's very intelligent and the things she says make you think. She's deep, not the bad way, but the one that makes you question the purpose of universe and our entire existence, all while she screams as you push her too high on the swings. She's a wimp when it comes to heights and crossing the road. 

Guarded, she locks her hurt and her pain so you can reveal your own and what makes you admire her more, is that she doesn't mind being there for you and staying awake until her eyelids collapse on her and she doesn't mind spending hours on the phone in risk of being told off by her parents, she doesn't mind devoting her spare time to you and she does dedicate her working hours to bettering you, she's so selfless. 

She's over-dramatic, she wasn't dying from hypothermia but she sure made out that she was, so she snatched my hoodie and stuck it over her body, she promised that she would give it back, I don't think she plans to.

When I look at her, I only see my best friend but when I describe her to anyone who asks, I see why they get the impression that we're a couple, it's because when I describe her, I describe her as though no other girl could possibly be as wonderfully perfect as her. 

Every time I see her, I see my best friend and I don't feel anything but then one day I saw her and I didn't just see my best friend, I saw the very girl I described and I guess when I saw her drowning in my hoodie, I realised that no other girl could possibly be as wonderful as her.

So, what do I do now? I make her out to be this visionary of wonder and all she sees me as her best friend and I think that's good because if I was to ever make her mine, good God, I think I would ruin the utter beauty that she is. 

Every time I now see her, I see everything I could ever wish and hope for and whenever she turns to face me, I think she will notice me as everything she could ever wish and hope for in a guy. 

But then she rushes over and hands me the hoodie, "thanks, I owe you" she grins before rushing off to her busy, rumour filled, beautiful life. So, I raise my head and I smile back and remind myself that;

  Every time I see her, I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing, she's just a friend, she's just my best friend.