Reason To Live (phanfic)

Chapter 4 (Phils p.o.v.)

I laid down on my bed waiting for death to take over. I couldn't stop crying. All these wonderful thoughts kept clouding my mind.

I closed my eyes and let the happy thoughts take over.

The first thought was when I was little. I was with my mom. We were at the park. She would swing on the swings with me. I always wanted to see who could swing higher. She always made me happy.

The second thought was when I came home from school so excited. I told my mom how happy I was that I finally got a best friend.  I was only 10. How was I to know a couple years later  he would betray me.

The third though was when I was with my best friend. We were playing video games. He kept beating me. But the one time he let me win. He always knew how to make me happy.

The fourth was when I found out I was gay. I was nervous to tell my mom but I told her. She supported me so much.

The fifth was when I realized I fell in love with my best friend. Who was Dan. We were hanging out and I decided to hold his hand. Just to see what he would do. He held my hand back. The touch of his hand and that smile he gave me, it gave me butterflies. At that moment I was in heaven.

I wished and wished for all these happy moments to come back into my life. As you know it never came true.

I closed my eyes as the tears silently fell down my cheeks. I started to feel the pain in my stomach. It started to spread all throughout my body. I couldn't breathe. I swear to you I finally felt happy. I haven't felt happy in so long. Just knowing I was about to die was the most happiest I have ever been in years. I felt my body start to shut down. I was ready to let death take me. I was more then happy actually.

As I laid there everything turned black around me.

A/N
SURPRISE! Another chapter. Because I felt really bad for not being here in so long.