50 Shades of Jonas

Chapter 5: Not Your Average Joe

It was only the early afternoon, and Joe and I were deciding what we wanted to do for our date. “Why don’t we go to the beach?” Joe suggested.

“That seems like a good motif,” I said back and we hopped in the Jonas Mobile and went off to the beach where we had first met. On the way, Joe told me about himself, much like Nick had, but Joe was more of a talker. He wouldn’t let me interject things in the conversation.

“My full name is Joseph Adam Jonas. I was born August 15, 1989 in Casa Grande, Arizona, even though my hometown is Wyckoff, New Jersey. My nickname is Danger, because that’s the name of my favorite TV program of all time, besides my Disney Channel shows Jonas LA and Jonas Brothers: Living the Dream, of course. I have three brothers. The oldest is Kevin and the two younger ones are Nick and Frankie. I have put out four albums with my band, the Jonas Brothers. The first one was called It’s About Time, the second one was called Jonas Brothers, the third one was called A Little Bit Longer, and the fourth one was called Lines, Vines, and Trying Times. We were nominated for the Grammy Award for Best New Artist, but sadly didn’t win because of some British bitch named Adele. I played Shane Gray in Camp Rock and it’s sequel Camp Rock 2: the Final Jam. My dog’s name is Winston. I started a charity named Change for the Children, where we take the children of the world and change them so that their peers will like them better. I have famous ex girlfriends too: Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Camilla Belle, and Ashley Greene.” he said in one breath.

That was a lot of information to take in at once. I wanted to tell him that most of that stuff had been already been stated in the previous chapters, but it didn’t seem like the right time to break the news. “Tell me about you,” Joe demanded forcefully.

“Ok,” I said nervously, “my full name is Lauren Clapp :D. I was born Ju-”

“We’re at the beach now. Let’s get out of the car.” Joe interrupted. We left the car and made our way to the sandy shores. Joe gave a bunch of autographs to unsuspecting people and then we sat down to enjoy the rays of the sun. But as we started to tan our splendid bodies, a little boy and girl ran up to us.

“Help us! We’ve lost our parents and we can’t find them because we’re lost! Can you help us? We’re lost!” said the little boy. The girl nodded in agreement.

“I’m a Jonas. I can do anything.” Joe said with vagueness as he gave the two kids autographs. We stood up and walked around for bit, but couldn’t find the kids’ parents. Finally Joe said: “Why don’t we all go back to my place for a movie marathon?”

Everyone seemed enthused by this idea, and Joe took us back to the Jonas Manor with the Jonas Mobile. The four of us went into the movie theatre and Joe put on his favorite timeless classic, Thor 2. Afterwards, Joe went upstairs to get another movie and I took this opportunity to find a bathroom, leaving behind the two kids unattended. The bathroom I found was nice and clean, and I did my business comfortably in it. On my way back to the theatre, I ran into Joe who was freaking out.

“Kevin’s here and he’s trying to steal you from me! I won’t let that happen! You’re my forever girl!” he told me as he leaned in for the kill and we kissed. “I now realize that I can’t keep you from my brothers, but I can try. I’m going to go into Kevin’s room and sabotage him. I’ll be back for you, I promise,” he said as we stared longingly at each other. He turned around and left in the direction of Kevin’s room.

I didn’t know what to do. “Maybe I should give Kevin a chance. It’s only fair.” I told myself. That’s when I felt his familiar presence from behind.

“Lauren, you are so pretty.” Kevin complimented me with a hush. I felt pretty.