❝CHAPTER 2.❞
the only thing surrounding the two was darkness and chilly air. the atmosphere was comfortable and silent and neither wanted to break that.
they didn't, for around 6 months. they didn't speak. they sat next to each other but never made eye contact.
he would sometimes feel namjoon's hand brush against his knee but would never mind it. everything was peaceful and calming. everyday at exactly 7:45 pm.
and it became a routine. even after seokjin switched schools. he cried a few times, seokjin was a softie, but that never stopped him from admiring the sky and at the very least pretending that namjoon was there, simply breathing.
he imagined every thing so vividly that for a second he did believe that namjoon was actually there. every detail seokjin saw was there. and he cried a little more.
years passed, and seokjin would sometimes still imagine that namjoon was there, watching the sunset with him.
he wasn't sure what the younger looked like now and for a moment he wondered what it would be like to hold his hand instead of hoseok's. maybe seokjin was still a little (very) attached to him and he just refused to let go.
he would sometimes find himself dreaming about said male. he would tune out all his surroundings and just imagine himself with namjoon. hugging or at the very least making eye contact.
he was so whipped.
so fucking whipped.
there was just no other way to describe it. he knew that in 3 years he would still be and maybe even in 6. because namjoon just made everything so different and so beautiful and because seokjin had never admired sunsets before namjoon.
even if they didn't speak to each other before. even if namjoon had offered seokjin his jacket and seokjin had refused because of either pride or selflessness. maybe both.
it didn't matter because at the end of the day, namjoon was still swarming around in his head and seokjin couldn't and wasn't gonna do anything about it. because namjoon was a memory he wanted to keep forever with him and for a moment he wished that he could see him again.
only fate would determine that. and so for the rest of the night, he spent it thinking of namjoon. his head tuned out hoseok's voice, quietly resting his cheek on top of the younger's head. his eyes automatically closed and he was asleep within minutes.
seokjin woke up to continuous poking against his side, writhing uncomfortably before forcing his eyes open. the sun was peeking over the horizon from behind clouds and a few waves crashing from the ocean view that seokjin had from his balcony.
"what time is it?" the male croaked out looking over at hoseok, who was rubbing his eyes in attempt to wake himself up. seokjin felt around for his phone, slipping out the pocket of his hoodie. "5:30 AM." he said out loud before stretching his aching body and slipping away from hoseok. he fixed his clothes and pulled the blankets off of hoseok before pulling said male off the couch and onto his feet.
hoseok's whining didn't go unnoticed but seokjin simply decided to ignore it, proceeding to drag his friend inside into their cold apartment.
once inside, seokjin lazily threw the blankets onto the couch. "hyung, you hungry?"
seokjin looks towards hoseok, who was pouring cereal into a bowl and shook his head. his body was hurting like a bitch. maybe the position he had slept in. he cursed hoseok out in his head for not waking him up and ran his fingers through his hair. he had class at 7 and was not in the mood to listen to his professor ramble on for 2 hours.
"hoseok-ssi, go get me my cigs, please." hoseok nodded disappearing down the hall and coming back with the small box. with a muttered 'thank you', seokjin took the pack from hoseok and pulled two of the small sticks out, handing one to hoseok.
he grabbed the lighter from the coffee table in the living room before lighting it up along with the younger's and inhaling in the toxic smoke into his lungs. seokjin didn't unusually smoke. he never allowed himself to become addicted, simply smoking when ever he was too stressed to think or on a specific day where he just wasn't feeling himself.
it started a few months after he switched schools. he had gone to his first party and someone had offered it to him. he was too drunk to actually care much but after trying it again the day after, he decided that it was calming but made sure not to get attached.
today was one of those days. it was early but he was feeling more down than usual today. so he continued to breathe in the drug. a few times, hoseok would puff out the smoke into seokjin's face playfully, receiving a short slap to the shoulder but seokjin didn't really mind it much. when he finished he put the bud out against his hand, wincing softly. the prickling sensation faded way too quickly and seokjin let out a long shaky breath.
"i told you to stop doing that, hyung."
he shrugged, not bothering to look away from his lap.
with a sigh, hoseok put out his cigarette against the table before leaning back and embracing seokjin tightly. his leg straddled the older's thighs and his face buried in his neck. seokjin wrapped his arms around hoseok's torso, pulling him closer and drawing shapes onto his back.
the warmth radiating from hoseok was comforting. he enjoyed this the most; being comforted by someone he was so close to, being taken care of.
he felt loved.
and they stayed like this for a while. because hoseok was the only person who knew whenever seokjin wasn't feeling like himself and was the only person that knew how to make him feel better. hoseok was the only person who knew almost all of seokjin's self destructing habits and was the only one who ever tried to prevent them.
and because of that, seokjin was always open to hoseok. because hoseok knew how unloved seokjin had once been and was willing to do anything to clear his head from all those memories.
and if holding him like this; in such a personal manner to the point where it made both their heart clench up. to the point where they both fell asleep, lovingly holding onto each other because seokjin was like hoseok's brother.
and he always thought that he was the only one that could put his broken brother back together.
if only he knew.
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