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❝CHAPTER 4.❞
seokjin was anxious.
seokjin was excited.
seokjin was shaking.
soothing hands were caressing his bare back under his yellow t-shirt, the other playing with the rip of his light washed jeans, the ones that hoseok liked so much and caused for him to always compliment the older on how nice his thighs looked. his newly black painted nails picked at the scab on his knee, a scraped seokjin got when he got drunk with hoseok and decided to try and skateboard around the neighborhood.
his broad shoulders squeezed together as his toes played under the black converse that hoseok said just looked too adorable on the brunette for him not to wear.
the older was nervous. jimin had warned him how this party wasn't gonna be like the ones they'd gone to before back in high school when they'd always find a way to either sneak in or force the host to invite them.
this was a party thrown by university students. adults who would do things that seokjin wouldn't even imagine doing. hoseok knew what it was like. hoseok was one of those people. seokjin knew this but he also knew that this was hoseok's way of coping.
he wasn't a high school student anymore. and this party was gonna be more than smoking weed and drinking a few bottles of beer. but he felt adrenaline coursing through his body; seokjin.
he was fidgeting, but at the same time he was smiling. he'd never been...so satisfied. his chest felt so light and he hadn't even left his apartment yet. he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. a weight he wasn't aware he was carrying until now.
not sure what that weight was, he simply shrugged it off, aware that it wouldn't do much to worry about it now. so he postponed it as he waited patiently for jimin to walk back through the door and tell him that it was time to go.
and the relieve only became greater when he did. and as soon as jimin entered through that door, both hoseok and seokjin were up in a matter of seconds and leaving the apartment in their torn up outfits that just seemed to match their personalities so well. because maybe this could be seokjin's new way of coping. letting loose and not caring.
and this was what it felt like to be free for him. to not have to be in the grasp of his parents, or rather guardians. seokjin didn't really want to consider them his parents anymore. maybe biologically they were but they never acted like so, so he never allowed them to be. and with that thought quickly disappearing from his mind, he got into the car, hoseok in the passenger seat beside him as the older started the engine and jimin humming quietly as he sat in the back, giving seokjin a reassuring pat in the back of his neck before leaning back and buckling his seat belt.
it was exactly 9 pm when they left, the party being so far away from campus that it took at least 45 minutes to get there but as soon as they did, the three males were greeted by the pulsing of music coming all the way from the top floor of an apartment building, that seemed rather run down but in a way that was appealing in seokjin's eyes.
parking anywhere he could, seokjin turned off the engine and slipped out the car, hoseok and jimin following. all three walked up to the building, acknowledged anyone who would greet them and hastily entered the elevator. "it's the last floor, right?" seokjin asked, receiving a nod from hoseok. "the penthouse?"
another nod. and so seokjin pressed the button that read 'ph', almost unable to control the shaking of his hand. he wiped his sweaty palms against his jeans and as soon as they reached the top floor they all followed the sound of the booming music and the trail of people who were either making out or smoking.
seokjin watched as jimin and hoseok were greeted by a few people, suddenly feeling out of place. and as soon as they entered through the open door of the apartment, even more people acknowledged their existence.
the apartment was larger than what seokjin had expected and there was more people than what he had been hoping. it was dark, except for the colored lights that occasionally would flash about, and seokjin was afraid he would get lost so he reached out towards hoseok and jimin, who were now walking ahead of him, and lightly held on to both their shirts, afraid of getting lost in the crowd.
hoseok visibly flinched, turning to look towards seokjin as they walked before giving the older a small smile and grabbing the hand that was holding his shirt, in his own. with a light reassuring squeeze, he pulled seokjin to his side, placing a soft, platonic kiss under his ear.
"are you alright, hyung? we can leave if you want."
seokjin shook his head. "i'm alright. just a bit overwhelmed." hoseok smiled once again before pecking the side of his hyung's neck comfortingly.
"why don't you go sit down and i go get you something to drink, okay?"
seokjin nodded and let hoseok lead him to an empty spot on the couch that decorated most of the packed living room.
seokjin ignored the few gazes he received and sat quietly as he waited for hoseok to get back. his hands stayed between his thighs and his shoulders squeezed together delicately as he nibbled on his bottom lip. he would look around a few times, scanning his surroundings but trying his best to avoid any sort of eye contact with anyone.
but then he did.
he locked gazes with a certain male that was leaning up against a wall, looking at him with some sort of intensity and shock that seokjin couldn't quite understand until it hit him.
and it hit him so hard that he almost had to stand up to check for himself that he was hallucinating.
but he just couldn't believe his eyes. he felt as if they were playing tricks on him.
no, it must be someone else.
he tried to convince himself but no matter how hard he tried, he could never mistake that reckless look yet delicate features.
but he quickly adverted his gaze, hoseok returning not shortly after with a red cup in his hands. the younger squeezed next to him onto the couch, an arm sneaking around his waist and pulling seokjin a little closer.
"what is this?" seokjin asked over the loud music, to which hoseok responded with a simple 'sprite'.
the brunette drank the bubbly soda before putting the cup down on the floor with a sigh and fixating his gaze over to where kim namjoon had been standing merely seconds ago.
the space was now empty, a few people surrounding it but no signs of the person he wanted to see there.
