Persisting Anyway

5) Worries

The sun shone through the blinds way too early for me to even remotely want to open my eyes. My eyelids were heavy with sleep and I longed to fall back into my dream. I tried putting my head under my pillow or under my sheets. But it was too late, I was already awake. I really wanted to spend at least one Saturday sleeping in.

Over the past few days I had tried my best to avoid Carter as much as possible. Whenever I would see him in the hallways I would move to the opposite wall to avoid eye contact. If we made eye contact I would smile and wave and continue on my way. I could sometimes see the hurt in his eyes. I hated making him feel bad. I tried to convince myself that it was for the best.

How could I even think that I could kiss someone after about a week? I found it odd that Carter had taken a sudden interest in even making eye contact with me, let alone talking to me and then sharing personal experiences and places.

My mind went back to the time when I was in the car with him going to the hospital. He looked so freaked out when I told him my name. Was it because he remembered first grade? Did he regret ever kissing me or taking an interest in me even if it was first grade? Did he regret ever insisting on taking me to the hospital? Ever since then has he felt obligated to befriend me? The last thing I wanted was to be a charity case.

I heaved a sigh and finally rolled out of bed and dragged my feet to take a shower. The water was steaming hot. I stepping in and my body quivered with shivers. The initial temperature difference always made me freezing for a few seconds.

The shower lasted longer than normal. I took my time massaging the shampoo and conditioner through my hair. For a while I just stood under the showerhead and let the water cascade down my face, through my hair and down my back. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. I don't know how long I stood there.

All too soon Bradley's muffled voice came through the door. I turned off the water and grabbed my towel to dry off. The freezing air rushed through the shower door.

I hated the cold.

I wrapped myself in the towel and bolted for my room. With a little brother that is always around every corner, it was hard to avoid him. This time I got lucky.

I dressed in yoga pants and a t-shirt. My hair was thrown up into a ponytail and a headband sat to keep fly-aways from tickling my face.

My Iphone blared while I picked up a few shirts and jeans here and there. I opened the blinds and let natural light flood in. I preferred natural light over the light on my roof.

Looking outside, I saw my mom working on yet another weekend project. I ran down the stairs and out the back door and plopped down next to my mom. The temperature was my favorite. It was warm but not too hot to be miserable.

"Well good morning, honey!"

"Morning!" I pecked her on the cheek with a kiss.

I watched her dip a paint roller in paint and then continue to roll the paint onto the shed. It always needed a new coat of paint. This weekend was dedicated to repainting it. My dad built the shed a few months before he died. We keep it painted in memory of him, and to make it seem like he is still here. He would have repainted it so we repaint it.

"I am going to need more paint. This can is running out. I think by the time you go and get it and come back I will need it. Will you go grab it really fast?" My mother asked.

"Yeah, of course I'll go get it."

I skipped through the house towards the garage. I really loved driving. I found it pretty fun. I grabbed any opportunity to drive.