Persisting Anyway

11) Beach Trips and Wishful Thinking

　

Dedicated to @takeachanceonlife!

Unedited chapter, but I finished writing so you all would have something to read!

I am in my school's musical, and with it coming up so soon (Feb. 27th is opening night!) we are really busy with rehearsal every night and every Saturday. There is not really time to write so please don't expect an update really soon. We finish showings on March 8th, so between those dates we are really busy. Thanks guys!

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"Do you need any Advil or anything?" Claire pushed a bottle of pills towards me.

"I am fine, Claire, the headache is all gone." I responded. Her hand was still outstretched and I pushed the bottle away. "After two days, I think I am fine." I laughed.

Claire nodded and capped the bottle. She unzipped her backpack and stashed the bottle back in her 'emergency' pocket. Apparently she considered my unapparent headache an emergency.

It had been two days since I talked to Carter. Needless to say that I was miserable, we had passed each other in the hallways but neglected to make eye contact. I would look over to see his eyes darting back to the floor. Just as I looked over to him, I could see the evident pain in his eyes.

I had hurt him. Although, I couldn't blame him because he had confessed his feelings, verbally and in writing, and I had shot him down. I told him I never had feelings, yet here I was wishing we were back to the relationship we had.

I missed him.

I missed his eyes, his smile, his laugh, his reassurance, his happiness, his sweetness, his voice, I just missed him.

It was my fault. I missed him but I had pushed him away. In a way, there was no way that I could fairly say that I missed him. I wanted to be close to him again, but I had pushed him away. It was not fair of me to push him away then want him back.

He was right though, I did have feelings for him, and I just pushed them away because I was too scared of change.

"Sydney." Claire waved her hand in front of me. I blinked multiple times and followed her hand with my eyes. "Class is going to start." She informed me. I nodded and turned to walk to my class. "See you later." I heard Claire grumble.

I turned around and smiled an apologetic smile. She smiled back sympathetically. Claire and Rory knew what had happened between Carter and I, and they knew that it was hard for me.

I trudged to class, walking past the same boring lockers and hallways and classrooms that I have stared at since freshman year. While walking through these halls I had fantasized dating Carter as he strutted with Josh.

I had gotten my opportunity to date him and I pushed him away.

I was not scared of dating him, I was scared of popularity.

The bell rang just as I walked through the door. I got a threatening glare from Mr. Alton but I trained my eyes on the ground and proceeded to sit down in my chair, still staring, or avoiding Mr. Alton's eyes. Ever since I insulted him, Mr. Alton had become more hostile towards me.

His monotonous voice droned on and on. I struggled to contain my laughter, but I managed. I had become quite skilled at holding in my laughter. The bell finally rang, signaling the end of the day.

I was excited, because Rory, Claire, and I were hanging out after school. We were going to the beach, I was so excited! We had packed swim suits and gear as we planned to go immediately after school. I sped walked to my locker and exchanged textbooks and binders.