Found

Chapter 9

You know what's most exciting in life.Trying to figure out what to eat from the large supply of cereal boxes in my pantry.You'd think that since it's merely that i would have figured it out but i have been sitting for the past 15 minutes.Finally deciding i will grab coffee on the way like i usually do i head out of the house and to work.It's already Thursday and seems like it was monday a day ago, i don't like that because no amount of work has been done since this week started an i am lagging behind pretty bad.

I continue to work on my project and it had been giving me a headache and i think i might just go into depression.I am having a mind block meaning i can't even get any creative juices going.Since i have been sitting for almost an hour i decide to just head to the roof of the building because it usually helps me relax and think.My quiet place, i even have a chair and everything and as i brought my sketch book with me.i just sit and close my eyes . After a few minutes my brain seems to open and i go on a sketch fest and i am not complaining.I have gotten lost in my head that i didn't realise that it was starting to get dark and i have been up there my whole day..Rushing down to my office i get there and start to transfer all my days work and it all starts to feel like my life is back on track.The office is quiet so i walk out to check the hallway and i find it deserted.

Grrrrh i hear the sound loud and i turn around to check if i am not alone but the place is deadly silent.I hear it again and then i ignore and walk into my office while i pack my work away. Then i hear the growl and i realise oh it's my stomach. That's a loud noise coming from such a little person he says.I just give a sarcastic laugh and continue with what i am doing.This is becoming a regular thingy for him to just drop by my office and "check up on me" and i hate it but i secretly love it, of course he will never know that. Uhmm bye i might see you tomorrow i say as i leave while he follows close as i walk to the door. Out of the blue he pulls me back into my office and slams the door shut.He has that primal look on his face .Like a deer caught in headlights i just stare.* Ok to be honest with you i felt like i could pee my undies* Until he stands right in front of me he just breathes incoherent words and as close as we are for the life of me i can not even form a thought.My heart is racing and my mind is haywire.I can't seem to think of anything he might want, before i open my mouth to speak he presses his lips to mine and they are so soft is what comes to mind.He slowly moves his tongue on my lips coaxing me to open up to him, obviously my mind says its bad bad but my body betrays me by responding.He kisses with such tenderness that i wonder how he even manages this much softness he projects in one kiss.

Pulling apart he looks at me while murmuring you are beautiful. My knees buckle at sound of his voice. I tried leaving you alone Alexandria, told myself that it was not good to pursue what i felt or the simple fact that i will never be good enough for you.That you deserve better than i can offer, that the man you meet better make you happy or i will kill them, i tried i just couldn't stay away from the day you challenged me in the boardroom to how you carry yourself, let me be yours. Don't tell me you felt nothing from what we just shared i had to stop myself from losing control.Say something, anything?In that moment I feel like he sees me you know the real me ,not the overconfident Lex who projects toughness and for split second I want to let myself be carried away.I want the impossible world where I can trust a man, where I can let go of my fears ,where I can be accepted for who I really am as a person .Just for a second I want to pretend to live in his world.

I have no words So taking the cowards way out i duck under him and make a beeline for the doors ,off to the ladies bathroom to hide and mostly to gather my thoughts. Also how can he say I don't deserve him when he's so worldly and perfect, Washing my face I finally gather the courage to get back to work and luckily he's not in my office and I don't see him for the rest of the day.Sitting on my couch i replay the way he felt pressed against my lips, my body, the way his hands had a firm grip on my waist.I loved how he kissed but at the same time how could i ever be in a relationship with my boss.It scares me to even think about it.At the same time i can't just forget how he said he wants to be mine and how i could totally be happy at last but my fear of being too close and being used are great or maybe he could be the one to break the curse I'm under.I am dreaming about us and can see us in a perfect world.In this one i am a nobody and what if he just wants to use me.Can i take a chance on him? He is a known player and what it he said all that just in the spare of the moment and didn't mean it?All these questions appear in my mind and my tummy flatters and twists at the same time.

Finally making myself take a shower i get up and go shower.After that i jump into bed and hope for the best tomorrow.