Our Rebel Love Song

12-Happening Every Day

I walked into school feeling like death. I had been crying all weekend and isolated myself from everyone. I was so depressed that I forgot how I woke up and got to school in the first place. Everything reminded me of Ash and it all made me cry in the end. At least I didn’t have to deal with everyone harassing me for it.

I felt someone grab my arm and pull me outside behind the school. I didn’t do much about it because I thought that must’ve been Dave ready to beat me up again. He let go of my arm and faced me. I was kind of shocked to see who it was, but not at the same time.

“Andy. I need to talk to you.” Dylan said nervously. Oh god. The last thing I need is some more drama. There’s only so much that a guy can handle.

“What?” I asked. He looked down shamefully.

“Never mind. I thought I could tell you, but I can’t. It’s too much for you right now.”

“No. You can tell me.” I rested my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

“Please don’t touch me, Andy.”

“Dylan, just tell me.” I demanded. He leaned up against the brick wall with me. He took my hand. Just the way he did it made me feel a little uncomfortable.

“Lynne doesn’t really like me. I asked her out and she told me to get lost because of what we did. So it got me thinking  about how I feel about you. Oh no! No no no no no no no no!

“No! You’ve been mistaken, Dylan.” I said frantically as I let go of his hand and stepped away from him.

“No I’m not, Andy. I love you. You can forget about about Ashley. I can keep you safe and give you all the love that you’ve ever wanted.” I was genuinely terrified by his words. Then he took my hands and got lost in my eyes. He leaned in to gently kiss me....

I sat up in my bed. I was sweating and confused. That was the worst nightmare I’ve ever had. I looked at my alarm clock. It was 2 am. I sighed and slowly laid back down in my bed. I just laid there for a few minutes, observing my ceiling, thinking about Dylan and Ash and everything. 

I got out of bed and realized that I never changed out of my clothes. I haven’t changed or taken a shower ever since Friday. I was that depressed. I had spent all of my time in my room, alone, crying. I only ate when my parents were out so that they wouldn’t ask any more questions than they were.

I turned on the shower and got a towel before I undressed and stepped into the raining hot water. It felt good to feel the heat hit my skin. All I could think about was that awful nightmare. I was thinking about what happened at the party way too much, but whenever I would  try to think about anything else I would end up thinking about Ash and how awful I made him feel. I made him feel worthless and unloved. I found myself crying in the shower. I didn’t stop, though. I just leaned my head in the wall and cried as the hot water ran down my skin. I felt so lonely.

After thirty minutes of crying in the shower I finally decided to step out and go back to sleep since I was now clean. I put on some boxers and blow dried my hair before headed back to bed. I could straighten my hair tomorrow. I was too tired and sad right now to do much else. I covered myself in my blankets and tried to fall back asleep, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t do it. I just stared at my ceiling for at least an hour longer and then started crying from frustration. 

“So this is what the rest of the year is gonna be like for you, Andy? Prepare for hell.”

*****

I did go to school feeling like death this morning, but I did remember how I woke up. So no need to worry about Dylan making out with my behind the school. I did have to deal with be ridiculed for the party. First thing that happened to me when I walked into that school was getting thrown against the lockers closest to me by random kids.