5-I Must Confess

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I knocked on Dylan’s front door. My palms were sweating and I thought that I was going to puke. Maybe I should just go home. I don’t need to tell Dylan this. But Ashley will get mad at me and I don’t want to lose him. I know I will if I don’t tell Dylan this. But I don’t want to do this just for Ash. Maybe I should just wait.

“Andy!” Dylan yelled. I looked up and saw Dylan leaning on the door frame with the door wide open. “Dude! You spaced out again!” I frowned.

“Sorry about that. I need to tell you something.” He nodded and let me in.

“Okay. Well what is it?” I walked in and closed the door behind me before we walked up to his room. It looked the same as the last time I was here. His bed was unmade. He had his curtains closed and clothes everywhere. He had all of his makeup spread on the top of his dresser and his mirror that was hanging on the wall was dusty from powder. Him and his makeup.

“You should really clean your room.” I recommended as we sat on his bed. He nodded.

“I should, but what was it that you wanted to tell me?” he asked. My heart was pounding, my hands were sweating again. I got butterflies in my stomach and I was terrified.

“O-Okay. Well. I-I don’t know how to say this. It’s why I’ve been acting weird.” I shook my head. “I just-I just don’t want to lose you, Dylan. I mean it’s just- I can’t lose you.” he held my hand and looked into my eyes.

“Andy. It’s okay. Just tell me.” I nodded and took a deep breath.

“Okay.” I whispered. I hesitated again. What if he hates me forever for this? I can’t do this. No Andy! You think too much! I closed my eyes.

“Dylan. I’m gay.” He just stared at me and held my hands tighter.

“That’s what you were afraid to tell me?” he let out in a disappointed whisper. I nodded. He brought me into a hug and cried on my shoulder.

“I thought that we built up some trust here, Andy. I thought that you really knew me. And being so afraid to tell  me something as small as that just really hurts me. You know that I support gays so why would you be so terrified to tell me?”

“I-I don’t know, Dylan. Do you hate me?” then he punched my shoulder.

“Of course I don’t hate you. I’m just mad at you for not telling me sooner. I mean reallymad. We’re best friends and I feel like you don’t trust me. It makes me wonder if you’re hiding other stuff from me.” He shook his head. “What happened to the trust in out relationship.” I shrugged.

“I don’t know.” The guilt was coming back and he could see the tears in my eyes. I’m so sensitive.

“No, Andy. Don’t cry. You don’t have to cry.” he said softly. “I just really need you to trust me with this stuff. I still love you just as much as I did before you told me. This actually explains a lot.” 

“What?” 

“Well I’ve seen the way you look at some guys and it always made me think ‘is he attracted to that guy’ or something, and then I see the way you look at girls and you just aren’t attracted to them.” 

“Well....” He laid on his back.

“There’s nothing to worry about, Andy. Nothing. Just please tell me things like this so that it doesn’t ruin our relationship.” I smiled and laid next to him.

“I’m also dating someone.” I told him.

“Oh, really?” he asked.

“Yeah. It’s, are you ready for this?” he nodded excitedly.

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