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boy. chapter ii!
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fourth grade so far wasn't the best. she was nine now and her own opinions on people's reactions towards her dressing the way she did were being verbalised. it seemed to get her into a state of trouble though. she would come home with a busted lip or a black eyes and would have to come up with more lame excuses, even though she was certain that her mother didn't believe a single one of them.
she had walked into the boy's bathroom because she had started using male pronouns and was calling herself 'corey' so she thought that no one would really care because she was already boyish enough.
but apparently some people did care because she was left bloodied and bruised on the cool tile floor of the boys bathroom, her shirt (actually it was her brothers) torn and her body weak. her twin was the one that found her and he took her to the nurse's office, making up a pretty good cover story as to why she was in the boys bathroom and why she was beaten to a pulp.
he'd told the nurse that she was dragged in there by a bunch of 6th graders because they didn't think it right, the way she was dressing. she was sent home and didn't attend school for a week and soon after was moved to a new one.
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at the age of ten she had settled into her new school quite well. she'd made friends with a group of boys her age that thought it cool she dressed like a guy. She'd introduced herself to them as 'corey' although she knew that they knew that she was female bodied she was happy that they didn't care.
she was content and unproblematic until halfway through the year when a girl in the grade below her began to tease her. spreading the rumor around that 'corey' was a lesbian and the only reason she dressed like a boy was so that the other girls thought she was a boy in order for them to want to kiss her.
this fourth grader made every girl that 'corey' had made friends with steer clear of her. and suddenly she was in that box of isolation and loneliness again because even her guy friends didn't really want to talk to her. so she stayed. she stayed in the box with her brother standing tall outside it, like a knight, watching over her and watching anyone who even dared to look at her the wrong way. and they stayed like that for the rest of the year, just the two of them. Like it always was.
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as the year passed people began to forget about the incident that occurred the year before so she took this as a chance to start fresh. she began to tell her friends to use male pronouns for her and began 'dating' a guy just so the rumors wouldn't start up again. she was quite happy.
that was until a teacher called her back after class. she was told that her behavior was unacceptable for that of an 11 year old and that she should start acting and dressing like a girl because she was one. she wanted to scream at this stupid teacher that it wasn't what she was feeling but she knew that it would only get her into more trouble.
so she stood silently in front of the desk and listened to this teacher rambling on about how she should and shouldn't be acting. she was about to walk out of the room because this teachers stupidity was annoying the hell out of her.
the teacher then told her that he had made an appointment for her with the student counsellor so that she could talk to someone about how she was feeling. and with that she was dismissed and she ran out of the room crying. her brother found her in the janitor's closet. he told her that his twin senses were tingling and he knew that something was up.
she told him everything, like she usually did, and he rubbed her back and told her that everything was going to be okay as she cried into his shoulder. they stayed like that for a while until the bell rang and they walked to class together.
the counselling session at the end of the day went horrible because the counsellor didn't really take any of the things that she was saying in. she felt like she was talking to a brick wall so she left. and she was back where she started again.
with nobody understanding how she felt and nobody accepting that she was what she was and there was nothing she could do to change it.
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author's note! i've had a few people come to me to talk about this book and their own identity. if you would like to talk to someone about whatever it is that you're going through, don't be afraid to message me. i will do my best to help. love, hunter x
