Magnolia General Hospital

Alone

I heard a sound I couldn’t quite put my finger on felt the sleep lifting off of me. I reached out to try and touch Lucy only to find that she was missing. I bolted right up and looked around. Not only was Lucy missing but so were my boxers. I wide grin spread itself along my face as I pictured Lucy walking around in my boxers and a top. Satisfied with the imagery, I reached for my jeans and pulled them on to go and try to find the dazzling blonde. I walked out into the kitchen and into the living room expecting her to be reading on the couch, she seemed like the type to be an early riser, but found the room was empty. Maybe she was curious? I walked up the stairs to see if maybe she had gone exploring. I opened every door to find that she wasn’t there. What had woken me up? Suddenly I booked it down the stairs and to the front door, ripping the thing open. I had been right. She was in her car just turning on the ignition. I ran out onto the side walk as she pulled away and started to chase her car when I heard a weird beeping sound. I stopped and looked down at my ankle; the normally green light had started flashing red. Shit! I ran back to my front lawn and fell to the ground bring my ankle in front of my face.

“I’m back! I’m back in the safe zone! Stop it! Just turn green you piece of crap!” I yelled at the thing. After a minute it turned back to green but Lucy had already driven away. Shit. I ran back into the house and searched for my phone. It took me a good five minutes to find it but once I had I dialed Lucy’s number, given to me as an emergency contact number. It rang twice then went to voice mail.

“Lucy! Luce, please, just come back and we can talk! You just have to tell me what’s wrong and we can fix it, okay? Please, Luce, just come back,” I hung up the phone and paced the room. I tried again after another five minutes getting voice mail again. Shit! What did I do wrong this time? I kept calling her every ten or fifteen minutes for the rest of the morning until I finally gave up around noon. I sat on the floor, my back against the couch, and put my head in my hands. I had finally been happy and I had thought that she might have been too. Guess I was wrong. Was that it then? I hadn’t been able to save Lisanna so now I can’t have anyone? How the hell was this fair!?! How was it that I could want someone so much and not be able to have her want me back!?! How is it that I keep thinking of Lisanna being here, being with me and meeting Lucy and not being able to have her? How is that thought even more excruciating than the thought of Lisanna being dead?

I push myself off of the ground and go into my room and strip off my jeans. I step into the washroom and turn on the shower. After a minute I step in and am greeted by the heat of the water. I stand there, not doing anything, and let the water beat down on the top of my head and drip down my body. I wipe the water off my face knowing that some of it was tears, and lift my head and let the water hit my face. I don’t know exactly how long I spent in the shower but I had gotten out when the hot water had started to wane. I pulled on a fresh pair of boxers and pants and a grey tee and rubbed my hair with a towel. I went back to the living room to check my phone and see if Lucy had called me back, she hadn’t. I groan in frustration and walk back into the kitchen and grab a huge plastic bag. I’m angry now. I burst into the storage closet and grab the boxes that have Lisanna’s clothes and jewelry and crap and throw it into the bag. Next I go back into my room and grab anything that’s Lisanna’s and not important and throw that into the bag too. After that I run up the stairs again and into the spare bedrooms. I look through them all trying to find anything that was Lisanna’s when I come across my own secret pile of memories. I had almost forgotten them. When we had moved in, I had brought things from my house that had been important to me, things Lisanna hadn’t liked. In order to make her happy I had gotten a box and carefully stored them away. I pulled the box down from the closet and just like that, my anger had diminished. I sat down on the floor and opened the box. The first thing I saw was a white scarf, the one my dad had given me when I was little. It was before he had met my step mom and he was going on a business trip. He said he would only be a week but due to some avalanche where he was staying, it ended up being over a month and he couldn’t contact us to say he was okay. The lady who was watching me thought he was dead. I had worn that scarf every day until he came home and even afterwards. When Lisanna and I had started dating she said she didn’t think it flattered me. Ever since then I had rarely worn the thing even though it still meant so much to me. Next all the souvenirs I had kept from when Grey and I had gone on an ‘adventure’ usually resulting in us getting in trouble. There were lots of those! I went through the box until I got to the bottom. There, at the bottom was a rather tattered book. I had never read, actually you couldn’t. It had gotten so wet that the words were smudged and unreadable. The hard cover was wrinkled, the binding was coming apart and the pages were too brittle I had to be careful when I flipped through the pages. Slowly, I packed everything up, except the book, and placed it all back in the closet. I left the bag of crap in the room and brought the book downstairs. Something about it was driving me insane but I couldn’t exactly figure out why. I sat on the couch and continued to flip through the unreadable book. After a few minutes I took out my phone.