"I will love the light for it shows me the way,
yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars."
- Og Mandino
I pulled my earplugs further in as I put my hat on place. Winter. A cold, seemslesly endless and depressing time. It was something special about the cold air burning your lungs, the silence and blinding whiteness. Something awful, terrible. The though of the long winter who was ahead of me, made me shaky and anxious. As I walked out of the door, I turned up the music so that I wouldn't have to hear what the others were talking about. It was problably me. It was every other morning, so why should this specific one be different? I started walking. Eyes on the sidewalk. No looking back. I concentrated on the music, and the nature around me. I had to admit: the sparkling white snow was beautiful. It just crept me out. I saw the sun raising from behind the mountains, yet it was still quite dark. My legs automatically moved forward. One at a time, left first, than right. They grew into the rhythm of the music as my brain focused on the lyrics. The sun rised further, and I could see half of it now. The light made the snow shimmer, as if a million crystals were hid in it. Maybe there was. Suddenly it was all blocked, and all sorts of buildings took over the nature's space. Every kind of peacefulness the music and nature gave me, was gone. When the sun comes up, reality sets in. I just wished it didn't have too. Reality is a bitch.
The school raised in front of me. It was two buildings - one from the 18th century and one that was built just a few years ago. They were held together by an awkward glass hallway, not fitting with the style of any of the them. The old one was made out of classic red brick. It had small windows with wooden details and lists going around it. It wasn't hard to imagine spiders and rats creeping all around in there, or ghost jumping out of the walls. Nobody would be surprised if you tried doing whichcraft eighter. Everything was just so old and magical. A perfect location for the chemistry and history classrooms. Modern arts on the other side, should have been moved too the other building. It had a flat roof, and was basically just a big block of concrete and wood, with little window-ish shapes all over. I started walking thorough the school garden. I was early, and had some time to spend before first class. I found up my book and ignored the comments, walking straight through the little hole in the hedge.
The school was surrounded by a big garden filled with roses, hedges and arts of all kinds. The back part had a big tree in the middle, and that was my secret spot. It had tall plants all around it, blocking the look out. And in. I couldn't see anyone, and nobody could see mee. I walked around the tree and were about to sit down - staring into the rose bushes - as I head something from my side. "Told you we would meet." I looked at him, noticing everything I didn't think about yesterday. His hair was light brown. It stood up slightly in the front. Not with tons of hair gel, not like he spent hours doing it, not like the jocks. Just in a natural way, making him look edgy but polite. It worked perfectly with his light blue, deep eyes. With his dimples and smile wrinkles. His smile was light, joking and plain serious all at the same time. "Look," he said. I looked at him. Stared at him. "I lied yesterday." I raised a brow. "About what? Are you a creepy stalker or something?" He laughed. A joking, soft laughter. Suddenly I was more comfortable than I could remembered ever being. "Of course not! I was just talking about when you said 'pardon me'", he said. "And I answered that nobody even says that anymore." I nodded. "I do too". I burst into laughter with him, and it felt so good. I had never really laughed with someone, and escpecially not someone I met the day before. When the bell rang, I though I would start rolling around on the ground. "I'm Brook, by the way." I smiled at him. "Valerie."
I smiled at him trought a gap between some science book and an old biography. He smiled back. A warm smile. "Where was the history section again?" he said. I smiled and pointet a finger too my left. "That way." We had to choose partners again in last class. Self-chosen partners were usually a nightmare. I always ended up with the most stupid people, and so I had to do all the work myself. This time was different. He came straight too me. The theme, though, was worse. Family history. Luckily, he semt to have an about normal family. We made our way too the history section, which was giant. "And how are we supposed to find out about Norway's role in the second world-war in all this?" I asked. He smiled. "We ask the librarian."
A few hours later, we had filled about half a notebook with facts. Our stomachs hurt because we had laughted so much. "So your uncle's grand-dad was the only one to survive out of five jewish siblings?" I asked, just to make sure. "Yeah, I would say so." I nodded. "Right." I put the last book back into the shelf. "Let's go then," I said, and we started walking out. Then he stoped. "I just have to go get this one book. See you tomorrow?" I nodded. "Bye." He turned around, running back. Wow. I had a friend. Maybe. People had joked me before, faking it just to upset me. It never worked. This had to be real. I kept walking when suddenly, a book fell down just in front of me. I expected a rude comment, maybe an "oops." But I couldn't see anyone, and we had been the only ones here. I picked it up. The front was blank. A few minutes later, I stood outside with the book in my hands. I walked home and ran up to my room.
Curling up in bed, I looked at the first page. "DARKNESS" I kept going. The first pages, was nothing too special. The diary of a young girl, working as a housemaid for a rich family in the early 1800's. But as I got into it, things changed, and just before I went downstairs too eat, I read this part:
7TH OF FEBRUARY 1852
I do not know what is going on with me. I have this feeling inside of me. A feeling I have never felt before, and I do not know what it is nor when it came. It is like a pain. I sometimes manage not to think about it, but it is always there. It is a fire inside of me, burning my organs one for one. I asked Alice about it, described it. She told me it was nothing, but her face said something else. I do not know what to do. But it hurts. It hurts so much.
The mistress called for me this morning. I went too her, expecting she needed help with her dress again. But instead, Alice was there. She told me I had to go. "Run far away", she said. "Run as far as you possibily can". She looked at me with disgust, anger. But also with fair. She was afraid of me. "What have I done?" I asked her. She shaked her head. "Run," she just said. "Just run far away, and never come back." I did not understand. "Is this about what I told you yesterday morning?" I asked. "Do you think I am ill?" She turned away, repeating it one last time. "Run." I was to go after her, but the mistress came in. "Pack what you need, and go. You are now longer welcome in this village." I had no choise but do what she told me too. As I went out of the door, I overheard Alice from the main room. "Demons," she said. "We had to get her out before the possesion is done." Horse carriage waited for me outside. "You will have to come with us," a young man said. I do not know where we are going, or if I will ever come back.
