I wanted to show you things
Tons of things
The quadratic swing set , that only had one swing
The place where we could get subs
Subway, just at our disposal, two seconds away
The huge park across the street from where I lived
The couples swing set
I imagined us there
Holding hands
And my breath would get a little heavy
Cause I'd be cautious about who sees
But then my breath,
It would subside,
And I'd calm down
Because you were with me.
I wanted to show you the pathway
In the woods
We'd be holding hands
(Of course)
But this time I wouldn't care
I would be inspired
By the cascading trees
The autumn leaves
The crunchy sounds below our feet
And by your blush of course.
it's rosiness from my jokes,
(Because I'll constantly be trying to make you laugh)
and from the wind blowing softly
Maybe we'd get subway, and root beer or sprite
I'd buy it of course
(I'd feel bad otherwise)
And we'd sit on the marry go round
That spins because of the soft wind,
That made your cheeks rosy,
And because of the slight hill it was built on.
Your short hair would flow,
and it'd move
And it'd look like a movie
But it wouldn't blow to hard.
Not to much that it's in your way.
Just enough that I take a mental picture
Just enough I'm tempted to take an actual picture
Just enough that we'll sit on the bench,
Close because it's cold,
And you'll tuck it behind your ears.
I imagine even then wanting to show you my poems
And my drawings
And every miscellaneous thing
I've created.
And if you liked on exceptionally,
I'd tell you
"You can have it"
I'll be inspired then to write something pertaining to
us
U(nited because something worked for us)
S(eperated because something was against us)
I think it was the universe.
At times,
I wanted to show you my thoughts
The reasons I used to laugh at sexist,
Rapist
Racist jokes
And reasons why I no longer do.
I wanted to show you why I preferred
To be inside
In my room
Where I controlled mostly everything.
I'd soon show you how I like to be dominant
And you'll lightly laugh
At one of my bad jokes,
And I'll laugh a little too hard
Because of anxiety and nervousness.
But you'd smile and I'd smile
And Itd be just
us.
U(ntil) I ruined us with anxiety
S(oon) you'd realize
My writing, my drawings
My jokes, my reasons
My childhood, my swing set
My dreams and crazy thoughts
wasn't a big enough,
bright enough
picture for your
brown eyes to see.
and I'd show you that I understood
I'd show you just how small I could become
because I understood
A brown eyes wonder like you
shouldn't be held back by
A pathetic dreamer like me.
