Breathe

Mirror

I look at myself

In my mirror,

Tears in my eyes.

I wish I looked like those other girls,

But I can't,

No matter how hard I try.

This mirror is my worse enemy,

Or maybe I am,

I dont know.

But looking at my reflection,

I now realize why my self esteem

Is so low.

All I see is stretch marks,

And scars.

Big thighs

And big arms.

Nothing about me is beautiful,

I don't care how many people

Say it's not true.

You don't see me

The way I see myself,

Or maybe you do.....

I turn to the side

And hold my breath,

Imagining what I would look like

If I was thin.

Holding my head high,

So maybe you won't see

The fat under my chin.

I write on my mirror,

So I will be reminded

How ugly I've become.

And has I do

I sob,

As my heart begins to drum.

I fall

And pull my knees to my chest.

I wonder if I'll ever be at rest.

My mirror

Proud and tall,

Mocks me.

It laughs,

And tells me

how I'll never fit in,

Because the other girls are pretty,

Exspeacialy all my friends.

"They hate you, you know."

She'll scream in my ear.

"You're unwanted and stupid,

They all know it's true,

And the one person believing

All of this,

Is you."

Her eyes match mine,

And can see right through me.

"You're afraid,

Of me,

Of yourself,

Because you know,

You're the one who will scream,

And damage yourself,

Not caring about your health.

You're your worst enemy,

But you believe I'm a different identity."

My face stained with tears,

As I stand here,

Looking at the body given to me.

Thinking about how gross I am.....

Though I wipe away my tears,

And put on my clothes,

Put on a fake smile,

And put on my show.

No one will know what I go through,

Not even my friends.

Every night,

I get up and wish my life would end.

I look in my mirror,

Covered in harsh words,

The ones I've written,

The ones I've heard.

I look at myself,

Before walking out my door.

"They'll think you're fine,

And when they don't,

You'll reasure them everytime,

That you ARE FINE!"