*CONTINUED FLASHBACK*
As I load the last of my luggage in my dad’s car, I hear a car pull up behind me. Shortly after, I hear the door close and a familiar voice yell my name. A voice that tears me up inside no matter how mad I can be at her. It’s Esme. I turn around and see that she’s walking towards me. I close the trunk and rest on the car, not making any effort to close the distance between us. I hope she isn’t here to ask me to stay. She stops one foot away from me and looks at me, with red eyes; probably from crying. Suddenly she’s in my arms and she’s crying.
“Please don’t leave.” She whispers.
I knew it. She’s not here to send condolences. She’s just being selfish Esmeralda. She only cares about herself. She doesn’t even care that my GRANDMOTHER is sick. My grandmother. Why is she being so selfish?! I stare at her, not wanting to say something I’ll regret. When I don’t reply in she says,
“Say something. At least say you’ll come back.”
“You don’t even care.” I say instead as I pull away from her touch.
“What?” She questions, oblivious to what I’m talking about. Of course she is. She only thinks about what concerns her.
“You don’t even care that my grandmother, at this very moment is lying in a hospital bed, on life support, in hopes that the drugs the doctors give her, will cure this horrible disease that has taken a toll on her life. You don’t care that this is obviously tearing ME apart… trying to decide if I should force my mom to let me stay with you or go see my grandma thinking it may be the last time I get to see her. You don’t even care. You are not who I thought you were. You’re selfish, and you only think about what concerns you.”
“I’m not selfish! I love you and I just want you with me! The doctors will cure her; they know what they’re doing! That’s why they’re doctors! I’m sorry that I just want you close to me! I can live with not seeing you for two or three months but now you’re completely moving there! Josh, think this through!”
“I have. I’m going to see my grandmother and then, I’m going to live in with my parents in her house until I get a steady job and move out. I’ve made my decision, if you can’t deal with it, there’s nothing I can do to help. I was going to visit when school starts, if you’re there then we can talk about our relationship. If not then I guess this is goodbye.”
“You’re making a mistake.” She finally says.
“No. I’m not.” I say to Esme as I walk to the passenger door of the car. I kiss Esme on the cheek, we linger and she kisses me hard on the lips as if it may be our last. I fight back tears as I grab her into my arms, still kissing her. She put her arms around my neck, pleading with her kisses one last time for me to stay. I pull back. I look directly into her hazel eyes. “Good bye Esme.”
***
After three and a half hours of driving, we arrive at grandma’s house. First I put my clothes in my room and immediately head for the hospital. Esme has been on my mind all day but I have to put her behind me. Someone that cannot have sympathy for my family cannot have me. I get where she’s coming from but in this family, there needs to be respect.
I enter my grandma’s room and my heart drops. My grandma is talking… to Esme. How did she get here… before me? They both look at me; my grandma with happiness and Esme with embarrassment. I walk towards my grandma, greeting her with a hug. We exchange the normal “how’s life” conversation for a few minutes and then I focus my attention to my girlfriend who sat quietly across from me and my grandma. She’s quiet and looks at my grandmother. I look at my grandmother and see her nod at Esme, telling her to speak her mind. Why is my grandmother giving her the go to tell me how she feels? I look at Esme now, with concern.
“How did you get here before I did?” I question.
“I took an earlier flight and a quicker route” She said timidly.
“So why are you here?” I ask, still with no sympathy.
“I came to say I’m sorry. I was being a control freak and stupid and I was only thinking of myself. The truth is, I didn’t want you to leave because you were the second guy I had ever loved. The first was my dad, he promised me when I was five that he loved me and he would never leave me. But he did. My mom moved on and got married to Mr. Castro who I now call dad because he is, in a sense is the only father I had. To be honest, I never really moved on. Then I met you. You were like this light in my darkness and then you made the same promise. I was scared you’d leave but the months went by and you were still by my side. You made the promise at the school dance on April 17th, 2013; now it’s June 21st, 2013. It’s been four months and four days since you made that promise. But it’s been 14 years since my dad made that promise.”
“Esme…” I start.
“Joshua, I’m glad you came to visit me, but it is obvious this girl cares about you dearly. I do not want to be the wall in your relationship. You have my blessing to be with her. And Esme, I’m truly grateful that you came all this way just to say sorry and ask for my blessing.” My grandmother interrupts.
I didn’t know what to say. I just wanted to hold her and tell her how sorry I was.
“Before you say sorry, don’t. I didn’t come here to make an excuse for why I was so inconsiderably rude to your whole family, well except your dad. I came to say sorry to your grandma personally and tell you that I will wait for you. I know you haven’t betrayed your promise and I won’t let you. I love you so much Joshua Michael O’Brien and I will always wait for you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“I don’t know, I guess I didn’t want to scare you away with all my family drama that’s kinda only in my head now. I’ve moved on though. I just want you to know that I will wait for you Joshua.”
“I’m so sorry about all of this. You know that if my grandmother wasn’t sick I wouldn’t have left right?”
“I know.”
I take her hands and place them in my palms. I look at her beautiful hazel eyes.
“I love you Esmeralda Sophia Ramos Castro. I will never leave you.”
“I know.”
I pull her into a hug and kiss her neck, then cheek, then lips. I stop because I realize that my grandmother is watching. She has no choice; she is sitting upright in our direction. I completely understand why Esme didn’t want me to leave. I just hope she forgives me for making a decision I didn’t want to make. As we talk to my grandmother, my mom and dad enter. I realize that this was the best to time to ask Esme. If I don’t do it now, in front of all the people I love, what other time would be a better time? I pull Esme closer to my side and get everyone’s attention. My mom already knows what I’m about to ask and I can see her holding back her excitement.
“Esme, I know these past few weeks have been hectic, but we’ve pulled through. I want all my hectic weeks to be with you. Esme will you marry me?” I say as I get on my knees, with no ring… crap. It didn’t seem to matter to her.
“Yes! Oh my goodness, of course I will!”
