A lazy love letter: Shika X Ino

That "oh my" moment

Ino,

I don't know why I'm writing this to you, since you'll never see it, but I had to get rid of all this...stuff. That's the best word I can come up with to describe it, you know? No, you probably don't. Oh whatever. Again, you'll never see this, so who cares if I think that you think that you won't know...see? This is why I don't write letters. I don't know how to articulate in writing. That, and using a pencil is such a bother.

Ino paused to laugh. "Typical Shikamaru," she said, shaking her head. "Ever the lazy human being, as always."

But, I guess I can set aside my own personal scruples (intelligent word, isn't it?) to do this, because, well, because I can't sleep. I've spent the past two hours staring up at the grains on the ceiling, and they aren't very fascinating, I can tell you. Don't try it.

The blonde girl laughed again. "For someone who doesn't like to write, you sure seem to be enjoying yourself."

Anyway...where do I begin? I hardly even know when all these feelings started...I'm not used to this, Ino. I like having one frame of mind for each situation I'm in, but with you, it's not as easy as that. I do know that whenever I'm close to you, I feel hundreds of things at one time, and it's like...I lose my bearings. I don't know which emotion to cling to, because there's too many to count. It makes me dizzy.

I hate being dizzy.

And, you know, I wish I could blame you for doing this to me, to accuse you of some trickery that's got me all bent over backwards, but I can't. I mean, how stupid is it to get mad at you for being yourself? Very stupid, if you ask me (which you didn't).

At this point, Ino's heart began to drum against her chest. In her haste, she brushed past the 'you'll never see this,' but she backtracked to the beginning and scanned over those lines again. Her heart beat faster.Oh my...he never did mean for me to see this at all...and I think I'm starting to understand why. Her eyes moved to the next part of the letter.

That's the thing, Ino. All those little quirks, like the way you flip your ponytail without knowing it when you walk, or the way you jump to conclusions before you know the full story, or how you sneeze when you get overexcited...they're the reel that's been pulling me in (fish metaphor...aren't I clever), and even if I try to move against the tide, it's useless (see that? I continued the metaphor, too. I deserve points for effort).

I know that I've always tried to act like I don't care one way or the other, and for a long time, that was true (although, in some aspects, I guess it still is. I'll always be sedentary at heart). But do you know why I couldn't sleep? (I'm going to tell anyway, so I don't know why I bothered putting that down).

I was thinking of you.

You know, sometimes I even allow myself to dream of what our future could be like, the two of us.

I see you puttering around in the kitchen (because you'll want to prove that you are a model wife, of course). You'll snap at me if I get underfoot while you're cooking, but then, you'll snap at me if I don't help, so whichever way you look at it, I'm going to get snapped at for something.

Our kids will be racing around breaking things, and I'll have to race around after them (because during all of this you'll still be puttering in the kitchen and taking great amusement at seeing me become flustered). There will be more snapping, more scolding, and chaos, chaos, chaos.

We'll be living in a mad house.

The Shikamaru of a few years ago would run away screaming (well, maybe not screaming) at the thought, but...oh I don't know, Ino. I've grown up a lot, and, well...I think I actually wouldn't mind. In all honesty, I...I can't see a future without you in it. Where would I be if I didn't have you to boss me around? I've gotten so used to that, Ino, that I've started taking advantage of the fact that you'd always be here. The truth is, oh, how do I say this without sounding like a walking cliché? The truth is, if there's no you, there's no me.