A lazy love letter: Shika X Ino

Who you gonna call? GHOST BUSTERS

Ah love. Such a wonderful thing, no? So wonderful, in fact, that bohemian poets young and old have dedicated their lives to describing it, that suave crooners and hard rockers alike sing of it, that novelists weave intricate tales of its many faces, chock full of seduction and intrigue and innocence and betrayal.
Shikamaru did not know much about love. He was not a poet or a singer or a novelist. Whenever his friends talked about relationships, the talk often veered in a rather naughty direction—teenage boys have a habit of speaking with their hormones' voices—and Shikamaru, whether out of laziness or embarrassment, listened while pretending not to listen, and never ventured any comments of his own, though he learned quite a bit about the pubescent mentality of the male brain. Horrifyingly enough, he found his own brain gallivanting off into the forbidden territory his peers not-so-secretly invaded, something that happened at a much greater frequency now than ever before. Why, right at this very moment his rogue thought processes were treating him to a very pleasant fantasy about giving the object of his—dare I say—desire a bona-fide tonsil-hockey kiss, the same kind of kiss that usually precedes questionable...behaviors. The fantasy was so realistic that he could even feel the coolness of her cherry-red lips pressed against his...

Cerulean is an interesting color, Shikamaru noted as he studied the pair of eyes that stared directly into his. Not blue, but...blue...like...the sky? Yeah, that's it. Sky. Where the clouds are. I like clouds...and I like Ino. I like Ino a lot. And I'm kissing her. Right now. Really kissing her. Yup. That's what I'm doing. That's...WHAT?

Reality can be such a cruel thing. Shikamaru enjoyed a few more pain-free moments before it slapped him silly—and we aren't talking little baby slaps here, either.

It even smiled at him before striking.

"Sheekawawu."

Oh bugger.

His mouth was still glued to hers. He had the decency to remove it.

"Y—yes?"

The frightening smile appeared.

"I'm going to kill you."

Gulp.

Sweet mother...

The frightening smile became even more frightening, gobbling up her face and leaving a deranged, psychopathic vampire-woman in its wake. All of Shikamaru's instincts told him to run, and run fast, but his body seemed to be against said action, much to his chagrin.

And then the side of his face went numb, and tiny stars danced around nauseatingly in front of his eyes.

Ino left him there in the snow and got to her feet, limbs like limp noodles, head a tad woozy, and glared at the crowd that had gathered to witness the spectacle. Never mind that she had just been kissed by the person she was falling in love with, and that, after the initial shock wore off, she discovered the experience wasn't as unpleasant as she might have expected. To tell the truth, she wouldn't be all that adverse to a repeat performance.

No, there was a principle involved, here. She hadn't exactly consented to the kiss beforehand (though Shikamaru really hadn't, either) and she would have preferred it to occur at a place other than out in front of all of their friends. Add that to the fact that their first kiss could have come straight out of a horridly predictable friends-who-are-just-friends-but-becoming-lovers romantic comedy, and the result equaled a very irritated Ino.

Sakura opened her mouth in an attempt to calm her, but she closed it when Ino gave her a look that said, 'not now, or I'll bite your head off.' No one moved as she stormed past them to the house, and the sound of the door slamming echoed like a gunshot.

Gaara, who had not yet escaped from his snow straight-jacket, turned his head to where Shikamaru lie, winced, and then looked up at Kakashi. "That is why I don't bother with women. How the hell is a guy supposed to know what's going to make a girl snap before getting the crap beat out of him?"