A lazy love letter: Shika X Ino

To ski, or not to ski

AIEEEEEEEE!"

Shikamaru woke with a start. The piercing shriek that greeted his ears made him feel as if his head were about to split wide open.

"What the—"

He shrank as far back against the pillows as he could manage without actually sinking through the mattress. Not possible, no, but preferable? Oh yes.

It is safe to say that nothing had ever frightened him more than the sight he bore witness to at present.

Nothing.

Not even his mother when she became angry with him and began waving sharp objects in his face. Not even the biggest, most horrible beasties that he'd gone up against during his career as a ninja. And he'd encountered some nasty ones, to be sure.

No, none of them came remotely close to the hellfire that radiated from the figure crouched near him, a crazed madness in her cerulean eyes.

The Grim Reaper himself would have been put to shame.

"SHIKAMARU!"

Never before had Ino's voice so resembled that of an infidel.

Shikamaru inched back a little more, sending up a silent prayer to the gods, begging them to spare his insignificant existence on earth. It was a rare thing for him to solicit divine intervention, but circumstances dictated that such an action would be his only hope of survival.

If you can hear me, whoever's up there—SAVE ME!

Not the most eloquent of requests, but perfectly suitable for the situation.

Ino, however, did not seem to feel that any deity had a right to sway her indignation upon discovering that certain molestations to her person had occurred while she slept, and promptly shattered Shikamaru's feeble attempts to escape with his hide.

In other words, the dark-haired Chuunin did not stand a chance against her wrath.

Most troublesome, indeed.

"What in HELL were you doing?" Ino snarled, crawling ever closer, the gleam not leaving her eyes. A chilling grin split her face, and Shikamaru cringed.

He decided it might be prudent to defend himself.

"It wasn't—I mean—this isn't—"

Not a very good defense.

In an instant, Ino's face hovered directly before his.

"Thought you could take advantage of an innocent girl, did you?" She said, and grabbed either of his wrists, her nails digging into the tender flesh. "Thought you could cop a feel without me knowing, eh?"

Such an accusation spurned Shikamaru's mouth to work.

"That's not true!" He squawked, flailing his arms—with Ino still attached, mind. The movement sent her crashing back to her previous position atop him, which only increased her fury.

"PERVERT!" She shrieked.

Crap! "Ino! I didn't mean to do that! I'm not a pervert, I swear!"

Sakura sat bolt upright when she heard a screech from the guest bedroom that only could have been produced by her best friend.

Uh-oh...that can't be good...

"Naruto!" She said, grasping his shoulders and shaking him roughly awake.

"Earthquake!" He yelped.

"Come on!" Sakura grabbed his hand and yanked him out of bed. "Something happened!"

"Huh?" Naruto managed to blurt before he was deprived the comfort of the quilts he'd been under. "Saaa-kuu-raaaa! I'm tired!" He whined, though she paid him no heed.