A Jewish Journey

CHAPTER II: Of What Had Occurred in the Last Room in the Inn

After this long ride to Bethlehem, Shlemeck was exhausted, because he had to carry the donkey for the majority of the ride after losing rock, paper, scissors to it. He wanted to lay down, and being that there were no inns that he could see, that's what he did. Once when he was about to close his eyes, he saw the inn in the corner of his eye. He didn't have any money to pay, so he stole some from a nearby mule, and payed the innkeeper to stay for one night. He said to the inn keeper once he got close up to him, "How much is for one night?", the innkeeper replied uncaringly, "This is my last room, so 20." Shlemeck didn't know how to count, and thinking he couldn't have spilt a twenty even though he only had one dollar coins, he gave him the whole pouch. The innkeeper had known from the weight that was way more than twenty, and gave Shlemeck a room.

The innkeeper was a tallish bald man, that had a hair on his head for every kid he had. Because the innkeeper had a "free live", he traveled around the Roman Empire. He became slightly deaf after listening to a concert in the Roman Disney Land. The concert was a short-lived genre called, "SUPER DUPER REALLY HEAVY METAL", but the genre died out after complaints about head injuries. The band most notorious for being loud was the "SUPER ULTRA METAL BAND", but they couldn't play after their first concert because of all their brains exploded on the chord.

The people above Shlemeck in the room were very loud, and were having a drinking party. Shlemeck simply ignored them, and continued talking to the donkey he had brought into the inn. After finishing the conversation about philosophy he had with the donkey, he wrote down what occurred. He woke up the next day doing a handstand on his cot.

Shlemeck had a rare type of sleeping-walking, because it made him do some things he could never have done before. One time, he had solved one of the modern day million dollar conjectures, but he had written them in Esperanto unwillingly, so no one could understand what he said. The place he had written his proof was on the sand of the beaches of Ptolemais.

However, Ptolemais, other than being a city notorious for being forgotten, was a city that had the highest rising tides on their beaches. This had resulted in the death of ten people a year from tides. Many people had decided to give an offering to the seas to not suck up their children. The city was very polarizing in the Anti-Science and Science movements. Everybody was either an extremist left or an extremist right. If you were neither, you were either dead or uneducated. Shlemeck was on the uneducated part of this, due to his lack of political talk. Not much is known about the education of Shlemeck, but due to his ill-informed "intelligent" and "philosophical" poems, he probably dropped out of school when they were beginning to talk about Aristotle and Socrates.

Shlemeck, once being aware of where he was, had fallen over. He then began to walk around thinking of where to go to next, but then remembered to open the door. As he walked out, forgetting his nothing of luggage, the donkey had followed him. They had left the building and were about to get out until they had saw a baby and its parents. Shlemeck had asked what the baby's name was, and the father replied, Jesus. The father said that, "we had no room in the inn, and we had run out of money. We were wondering if we could borrow money" Shlemeck didn't have any money and got bored, so walked away acting like they were speaking gibberish. To Shlemeck they were speaking something dumb. In his home town, no one learned manners, because it wasn't in the school budget. It was either that or horseback riding, and the horses there were a lot, so the decision was obvious. Shlemeck had written another poem about this encounter:

Thy acts of mannerism shall be in ruins

For no one acts upon thy ideology

There was more, but he had scribbled it out and threw it away. The official journal will be published shortly after this. Anyhow, Shlemeck had found the map in the donkey's mouth, and forcefully took it out, leaving a little bite on it. Not knowing what was on the map due to the bite, he had decided to swim to Greece from Jerusalem. To do this, he would need a boat, and he was fortuitous enough that he had encountered a shop to buy boats.

This was a little shop run by Jamal Akumaa. He had open it in 14 BCE after the shutting down of the mega-corporation of the Roman Wall Shop. This mega store was initially built with the intention of ripping off the customer, but then protesters brought it down and smaller businesses opened up. One of them being the boat shop.

Shlemeck had no money at all, so to get theboat. He would need to use his magic tricks. As a kid, Shlemeck had a box ofmagic tricks that he used to steal items. The trick Shlemeck was going to usewas the Distract and Dash Trick. This is because it was easiest and the besttrick in the box. Shlemeck had lured the shopkeeper outside to report a 'stolenboat', but then once he was turned around, Shlemeck, stole the boat and sat init with the donkey in the water. Shlemeck, having no paddle or oar, used hishands to row the boat to Greece. The reason why Shlemeck had chosen Greece, wasbecause it could provide a path to Rome. The place in Greece Shlemeck was goingto row to, was one of the closest island there, to minimize time in the water.Now, with a plan of action, part two of their journey began.