Destined to Fall

LOUIS TOMLINSON

Feel free to read this! Really appreciate it if you're reading xoxo

I'm so sorry this isn't an update for the sorry, but this is just what I want to express from the bottom of my heart.

I think most of us here have already acknowledged what happened to Louis Tomlinson's mother. On Wednesday, his mother, Johannah Deakin left the reality world and went up with the Angels to Heaven. Words can never express how I felt the moment I found out about it. I just cant believe the fact that Johannah's gone. She's such a beautiful person and she most definitely didn't deserve this. Why is it always those who's the closest to us gets taken away the fastest? She's only 43. And she could've lived for so many more years. I really couldn't express how I'm feeling. Watching and reading all the posts of hers dedicated to all her children didn't seem much of a big deal until the day she passed and everything came and fixed itself like a massive puzzle. She's been suffering from leukemia since May and battling it is never an easy thing. But unfortunately, she lost the battle. It just breaks so much that she always go for charity events and give full supports towards cancer patients. Little did we know that she became one of the victims for cancer. Johannah definitely  didn't deserve this, Nor did the family. She isn't even someone close to me, or my family member. But the thought of her passing away has broke through me and tore me apart and I felt like I'm one of her family members. I honestly don't even know how can the Tomlinson - Deakin family go through this stage. I've been tearing up ever since I found out about her death, and its so hard to get the thought of her out of my head. She did so much for her family. It just hurts so much how Louis has lost his ultimate supporter, mother and best friend, how Lottie and Felicite lost someone extremely close and someone who understands them better than anyone else, how Phoebe and Daisy lost their best mother and supporter as well as someone who's willing to watch them dance, how Ernest and Doris lost their mother, guider and supporter  at such a young age. Last night, Louis performed a song of his called "Just Hold On" with the help of Steve Aoki as the DJ on the X Factor UK. It was one of his mom's last wish to have him perform again from the place where he first shot his fame.  And honestly, I don't know how Louis manage to hold everything in without breaking down on stage though the emotions were hearable through his voice. The way he sang it was so delicate and beautiful, I can't even fathom how I feel, how it felt like to watch him perform so bravely and finish the whole song, everything. Even before the song played, I started tearing up. And I have so much of respect towards him and I have no idea how to describe the strength and bravery built in the whole family. I'm really really happy that everyone from One Direction including Zayn dropped everything that they were supposed to do and flew to London to support Louis. This whole piece of them coming back together to support Louis isn't just a thing friends can do. Their relationship is more than just friends. They're a family. A family that cares for each other.

Things like these just reminds us about how short life really is and we don't know when our closed ones will be taken away from us permanently. Its never too late to tell your loved ones how much you love them. Start appreciating them. Even one genuine hug from you can hold thousands of unspoken words from your heart.

I just really really hope and I've been praying, for the whole Tomlinson - Deakin family to stay strong and support each other. They deserve an incredible amount of respect for their bravery and strength and courage that's planted in themselves. For them to lose a mother who's so caring, who's so supportive and beautiful, it's very very heartbreaking and I'm sure most of us reading this could understand. Thus, I really hope and I'm pretty sure that they will create a stronger bond between themselves. And I'm also sure that Johannah's very proud of Louis's tribute to her that's being performed last night.

To those of you out there who hasn't listen to the song, I encourage you to do so. It's available worldwide, you can get it on iTunes or google play. Or you can stream it on YouTube or Spotify or any other music apps you have. The lyrics of the song are extremely powerful and sad at the same time, and I'm just really out of words to describe the way Louis manage to put such a sad and delicate song  into such an upbeat song to ensure everyone's happy when they're listening to the song being played in clubs or radios or anywhere.

May you Rest In Peace, Johannah. You were truly an Angel and a blessing to everyone. May you be in the hands of the Gods and the Angels. You'll be missed by many. And Louis,were all super extremely incredibly proud of you. X

- Stephanie