You can't stop DNA. I guess you can't stop DNA, no you can't stop DNA.
Past my bed night, I had watched, my current favourite stuffed toy clutched desperately in my hands, supporting me as my innocent eyes watched the scene before me. You were dressed differently, your eyes slightly fuzzy as you shouted at my Mother, words I had not understood left your mouth as your temper rose, my mother knowing how insane you were acting remain calm yet her hands shook and her words stuttered.
You raised your arm again and again attacking every inch of her body you could lay your hands on, like a Lion growling and scratching it's prey until it felt fit to stop.
I had to watch, unmoving, my lips trembling, my hand's shaking. I was scarred with this new impression of you. And at that moment I felt confused.
Why were you doing such a horrible thing to my mommy? My mommy, the nicest and strongest woman I had known till date. Why were you hurting my hero?
And then you stopped suddenly, horror written all over your face, whispering things like you 'Didn't mean it' or that you were 'Sorry' but the damage was cause and the scars were already carved into my memory.
The next day you were gone, when I asked Mommy why you weren't here, she ignored me, her breath haggard as she tried to sit down without flinching to alert me of her bruises.
Little did she know, I had seen her hurting, and when she was hurting - so was I.
I didn't eat or play at school like I used to, it was like a flip had switched inside of me.
Dark and Scary you stood, finally gracing me with your company, standing by a car I hadn't seen before outside of my school, a frown etched onto your face yet turning into a forced smile once you saw your little bundle of joy walking towards you. You picked me up swinging me around as I laughed out loud, thinking everything was fine now.
It wasn't.
We drove, talking non-stop as we finally reached home, it was then that I noticed mommy's small figure perched onto the driveway bundled into little ball. As she saw me, a relived look entered her face and immediately I ran to her and hugged her after getting out of the car.
My mother took us inside without another look to my Dad, and I knew then, nothing would ever be the same.
The next day, you hadn't come to collect me, it went on for years and years that I never saw your face again. I hate to ask but was it bad leaving me behind? I hate to ask but was I not worth your little while's?
It was finally the time for my graduation, I had hoped that you come, texted, called or did something to know that you cared. I waited relentlessly not giving up on you, It was then that I realised that you had moved on, without me.
Mom tried to cheer me up, but it wasn't't the same, the delusion in my head was surely going to bring me to my knees, I don't understand why you couldn't be you, and I be me. Together in a world where I was your little princess once again.
I started drinking alcohol, the thought of you repeatedly coming into my head every time I gulped down the sour beverage, and I reminded myself we were different, we may have the same eyes, nose and hair but you had problems.
Problem's that I didn't have.
I started staying out late, of course it wasn't my intention, I just got lost into alcohol. Maybe, the thought of you leaving me motivated me to lose myself.
But I beg you now, please hold onto me - because i'm a little unsteady, just a little unsteady.
I think I found my soulmate, it's good, because now I think about the future. I lost my virginity to him, though honestly I think we were both too drunk to remember. I even moved in with him, though Mom say's she's worried about me. Their's nothing to worry about though, right father?
I came home late today, my mind fuzzy with weed - I was a grown up girl and I could take care of myself. My boyfriend got angry however, saying things about how I was cheating on him and how I would regret it if I did. I reminded him on how I wasn't you and how I was clubbing all night.
We got into a big fight and something came over me, I punched, slapped, pushed and aggressively hurt him, he defended himself of course but soon left saying how I was a crazy b**ch. I cried, yelling I was sorry and sorry and sorry all over again. He told me he loved me but I needed help.
I don't need help, do I Father? I don't. I'm just following your footsteps after all though, right?
You and I, we're like a pair of shoelaces, they go different ways but come from the same place. And we both end up in the same place. I guess I finally found out where you went after leaving us.
I went to the same therapists you went to, but they said I needed to go to a hospital. Is their something wrong with me Father?
I'm scared, but I don't tell Mom, I can't tell Mom. She deserves happiness, something the both of us cannot give her.
And so I followed his advice feeling as though they were taking me to the place you resided in, that gave me determination. Though, I really needed a shot of tequila.
And so here I was, three years later bundled up in a cell I had learned to call my home, though, my true home was where my mom lived, after all a home is full of the people you love, not in this tatty, freezing excuse of a cabin room.
A place where you weren't.
I saw you today, and you followed me, smiling the way you used to when I was smaller, you came with me to my room, and even though I told the officer's you were with me, they didn't believe me.
But you were there. I saw you with me, stroking my hair as I cried in you lap. My cell mate laughed at me calling me a freak, though she was the one with the problems. I didn't understand how they didn't see you, because you were there, you were here, you went everywhere I did. Following and guiding me in the place I grew aloof.
I showed them you where with me, but the moment I realised they were right, you were gone. I couldn't tell you how scared I felt.
You left me alone, and left me to fend your problems inside of me by myself. After all, we both had the experience on most things.
Eyes likes yours, can't look any, but you can't stop DNA.
I guess you can't stop DNA.
No, you can't stop DNA.
