Laced With Honey

Regrets

A soft moan escaped my lips as I awoke, feeling the harsh effects of a hangover bathe me. It took me an impossible amount of time to decide if I was even ready to awaken from my slumber. I didn't want to open my eyes; my whole body hurt, and even the simple action would have me drowning in pain. I laid silently for a moment, cringing when the pounding in my head increased. Instant regret for the splurge on alcohol had me softly moaning.

Everything was far too hazy to remember much of anything. I could only pinpoint a few actions that had happened the night before. Gumball had wanted to tell me a 'secret' that he'd been holding inside, yet that was all I could remember. The previous day seemed as though it never happened.

Using my untied hand, I rubbed my temples, hoping to rid some of the pounding. I'd have to open my eyes sooner or later. I hadn't a single clue as to where I'd fallen asleep, causing confusion to wash upon me. The farther I came to waking, the more I realized how warm my cold body felt, as if I was laying next to a body.

I slowly opened my eyes, constantly blinking the dim light away. The action was painful, and it seemed as though the haziness wouldn't escape me. I grunted and propped myself up by my elbows, willing my red orbs to focus. I could just begin to make out the harsh colors of pink that surrounded me. With a soft yawn, I sat up fully and rubbed at my face roughly. "Fuck," I moaned, drawing out the syllable. Head bowed, I took an extra moment to let my gaze clear before looking at my surroundings. With a pounding brain, I lifted my eyes and looked to my side, seeing Gumball's pink figure.

He sat with his knees to his chest and his head turned toward the door, hair a simple mess and face looking pale. I blinked, eyes grazing along his structure, noticing his bare legs and soft boxers clinging weakly to his hips. Brows furrowing, I soon realized I hadn't slept on the floor as usual, but I had in fact fallen asleep in his bed. "Gumball?" I whispered, voice hoarse and seemingly silent. I reached to grip my aching head, turning my eyes toward my bare feet. "Gumball, what happened?"

The prince was silent and unmoving for the longest time. A few minutes of silence passed before I glanced at him once more. He held himself tightly, not daring to remove his gaze from the door. I studied him for a moment, noticing something different about his body. It had taken me several minutes to finally notice the soft purple bruise-like marks on his neck and the bite marks on his collarbone. Purple and black bruises lined his legs and thighs in the shape of hand prints, causing my brain to freeze. The sight suddenly made me feel sick, and I had to turn my face away. "Shit," I whispered, piecing facts together. My body froze painfully as small glimpses of the night before bathed my brain. "Fuck!" I moaned, gripping my hair. I looked back at Gumball's seemingly small body, shivering. "Gumball, tell me those weren't from me," I whispered, gesturing to the hickey on his neck and the rough bruises all over his legs.

Gumball dropped his gaze from the door and looked at me, frowning softly. His blue eyes were dull and his face had a mix of emotions. "Do you remember?" He whispered. I moaned and rubbed my face with my free hand, feeling as though I was about ready to vomit.

"What did I do?" I said loudly, gripping at my black hair. Closing my eyes, I began to remember the previous night. Images of Gumball and I flashed across my eyes, causing my hands to shake. "Please tell me I didn't...take advantage or anything."

Gumball shook his head. "I wanted it too, Marshall," he said softly, looking toward the door once again. I swallowed hard, looking back at his pink body. He was shaking. "It was a mistake."

"Gumball," I said softly. "I'm so sorry."

•••

It didn't take Fiona long to know something was honestly wrong. I hadn't said a single word since the morning and Gumball looked sickly and sad. The pink prince had gotten dressed quickly, calling the adventurer and asking her to come quickly. Knowing Fiona would listen to him, he'd talk her into untying us. I felt skeptical, for Fiona was a hardhead when it came to certain things like that. But Gumball was honestly willing to do anything to get us free, for he knew the events that had happened between us were too much to handle.

Fiona sunk down on the chair, nibbling a few candies as Gumball opened his mouth to speak. "Fiona, I need you to untie the ribbon," Gumball said softly. The blonde furrowed her eyebrows, knowing instantly that something had happened. I could tell she was thinking because her eyes shifted all around the room.

She stared at me for a moment, a concerned look on her face. "What happened?" She asked softly, afraid to speak loudly. I kept my eyes low; I knew my voice had been lost in the early morning, and I wouldn't know what to say to the adventurer. I could feel her eyes on me, boring into my skull as she waited for a reply.

Prince Gumball shuffled his feet and looked toward the ceiling. "Fiona, now isn't the time for questions," he said gruffly, causing both Fiona and I to glance up at him. "Cut the damn ribbon and leave!" He didn't meet anyone's gaze, he just stared into space with an angry expression on his face.

Fiona stood carefully, shrugging her green backpack off her shoulder and slipping her hand inside. "Do I at least get an explanation?" She asked softly, grabbing a small pair of golden scissors. I watched with wide eyes, feeling my hopes raise to an alternate high. She was honestly going to untie us, and I'd be free.

Gumball set his eyes on the scissors and held his arm out, making the ribbon shock our wrists. I held back a gasp, turning my head so they couldn't see the cringe. It had only been a week that I'd been tied to the prince, yet it felt like years had passed me. Today, I'd be free and Gumball would be a thing of the past. Yet thinking this, my heart ached slightly. After knowing what Gumball and I did during our drunken slumber, I felt something tug me toward him. I wasn't sure if I felt guilt or a hidden emotion, but it had me frowning to know it might be my last time seeing him.

My wrist dropped suddenly, and I half expected to find the ribbon still clinging tightly to me. I glanced at Fiona for only a second before letting my gaze drop to the dull ribbon on the ground beside my feet. I blinked in surprise, bringing my sore wrist to my chest and rubbing at the raw skin there. With a soft cough, I nodded my thanks and took a few simple steps away from Gumball. The initial shock of being free had my brain spiraling in all different directions. It felt oddly depressing that I could no longer feel the warmth of Gumball's wrist on mine, yet I felt the weight on my shoulders slowly sink away. I let out a quiet moan, staring at the floor.

Fiona shuffled her feat and pushed the golden scissors into her green backpack. Her eyes were lowered and a frown engulfed her face. It seemed as though Gumball's sudden burst of anger had effected her more than I'd realized, for she didn't say a single word as she snaked past Gumball and I. I turned to watch her go, red eyes tracing her every step as her small frame gradually disappeared. With Fiona gone, it was my turn to exit the stage, yet something was holding me firmly to my place next to the prince. A billion thoughts panned out around me, making it feel as though I was going crazy.

I sniffed, lifting my eyes up to look at Gumball's pale face. "Before I go," I began, taking another careful step back. "I wanted to apologize for everything. I fucked up," I said softly, hiding my face by turning away. "I'm sorry I messed it all up again." I moved for the door, running an angry hand through my raven hair. I pushed the door open, hoping Gumball would stop me in my tracks and tell me everything would turn out okay, but it never happened. Before I left the room, I glanced back just once and looked at Gumball's side profile, fists tightening. With a soft grunt, I left without turning back.

•••

I let my fingers gently trace over the mahogany desk in the corner of my room. Three simple papers were the only objects to take space upon it, which I felt the need to clear. After my homecoming, I'd felt a sense of harsh anxiety drift upon my body and knock down my walls. Any type of clutter in my home had me breathless, and I found myself constantly cleaning an entirely spotless room. I couldn't help myself; after leaving the Candy Kingdom, it seemed as though my harsh attitude collapsed. I craved for neatness; I'd fucked everything up, and I just needed to make things better. I couldn't take any more mess ups in my life.

I grabbed the papers and smoothed my grey fingers along the smooth surface. They were unseen sheet music that I'd forgotten I had purchased from a long time friend. Before I could scan my eyes over the first few chords, I slid the papers neatly inside the desk and stepped back. Although music was one thing I could always use to heal me, I felt repulsed by it somehow. I couldn't even look at my dusty guitar without cringing. It was such an odd feeling inside me; to know that my only healing potion would hurt me had my brain spinning.

I sat lightly on the corner of my bed, bowing my head and watching my wet hair drip in front of my eyes. The moment I stepped inside my home, I was in the shower trying desperately to remove every scent of sugar on my body. As if it stained me, I could still smell the reminiscence of Gumball's flavor. Cringing, my tilted my head up and looked toward my bedroom door, unsure of what to do. Drinking sounded appealing, yet after the ordeal with Gumball, it scared to me enough to shun away from the deadly nectar. In situations where I found myself depressed or angry, I went out to crazy parties and lost myself in the world on nonsense.

But tonight I just needed stability.

I fell back against my blankets and looked up at the ceiling, letting my brain wander to the events that had happened only hours ago. In a crazy drunken stupor, I'd had sex with Gumball. From the looks of it, I was rough with him. I couldn't push the images of my bite marks and bruises all over his neck, legs and chest. I closed my eyes, thinking of an unimaginable question about the pink prince. Was he a virgin? I choked on my spit and sat up quickly, rubbing rough hands against my grey face. "What did you do, Marshall?" I yelled to the empty space around me, hands shaking in disgust. "How could you be such a sick bastard?"

I took advantage of Gumball's innocence in a drunken state. I could've taken control, yet I let my need get the best of me. It was sickening to think I just...let my animal instincts take over me. Gumball had said he'd asked for it, yet something told me I pushed him to do it. Had I been too rough and forceful? Had I hurt him while taking him fully, or had he prepared his body with some type of damn lubricant? These thoughts smoothed over my head until I was softly hitting my palm against my head to rid the thoughts. I felt sickly, and the more I thought about harming Gumball in such a way, the more I fell ill.

I walked from my room and slipped inside the bathroom to peer into the mirror. It was still slightly steamy from the shower I'd taken earlier and with a hand I wiped the mist away. Red eyes peered back at me, looking lost and afraid. It wasn't Marshall staring back at me, but a terrified child yearning for help. I noticed just then, the ordeal between Gumball and I affected me badly, and I couldn't escape it. I wondered if he knew how badly my chest ached. I wondered if he even thought about my feelings toward it.

I shied away from the mirror and turned my face away, ashamed with my own reflection. I wasn't just a monster anymore, but the devil. I'd always known I was bad from the start, but after taking Gumball like red meat, it let me know I was pure evil. I couldn't hold back my temptations and in turn I made Gumball's body nothing but a toy.

I stood in the bathroom for a long few moments, body shaking harshly. The mirror looked tempting to break, yet I couldn't get myself to make a fist. I was honestly too shaken for anger to escape my body. The only thing I could do was yell, and I did so until my throat was raw. I leaned against the bathroom counter and gripped my stomach, panting. "Dammit!" I yelled, knowing my throat couldn't take much more. "Why, Marshall? Why?"

Gripping roughly at my black hair, I looked back at the mirror to see the same vulnerable boy looking back at me. A few strands of my hair fell into my palms as I shook my head in disapproval. "This is all your fault." I yelled at the reflection, palms slamming against the counter top. "You sick bastard!"



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Hello, my lovely adventurers! How have you been?

This chapter made me sad. Don't you just wish everything could have turned out?

Well, as an author, I'm compelled to make my readers emotionally suffer! Heheh.

The next update will come soon, so prepare your hearts!

Don't forget to leave a comment telling me how you liked the chapter! Remember, I also take ideas!

Thanks guys! You are all awesome!

By the way, Happy Belated New Year!! <3

~Calie