The Five Stages Of Grief

• Bargaining

• Bargaining

4th January 2015

Lily,

Perhaps everything was my fault, to begin with. I should have realized sooner that you were going through some serious issues. When you had pushed me away I should have tried harder. I should have seen it coming. I should have known that you needed me the most at the moment. I should have held onto you instead of my pride. Maybe it was my ego that came in the way. I guess I was blinded by hurt and confusion. When you brought Luke into the picture envy probably got the better of me.

How could I not see your pain? Why was my judgment so clouded? Oh, how I wish, I could have done things differently!

If only I could have truly seen you . . . would you have been here with me now . . . ? Would I have again gotten the chance to hear you talk cheerfully and to see you smile brightly?

Come back. Please, please just come back? Everyone's missing you like crazy.

If I had known that I was running short on time, if I had known the consequences of my actions, only if I had known that I was going to lose you forever I honestly would have made different choices.

I wouldn't have let you go.

I can't believe I let you go.

What I want more than anything else at the moment is to turn back time. I want to go back in time and save you. I would give anything to be able to do that.

I am sorry I couldn't protect you. Can't I get one chance to reset everything?

Reset.

That's all I want to do.

Love,

Nathan