His Broken Promise

Chapter 6

​I saw Greg had already pulled up to my house when we arrived. We greeted each other and I walked to my room. I listened to music for a couple hours before climbing into bed. My bottom bunk had clothes on it so I decided to sleep on my top bunk. It was getting late so I tucked my phone underneath my pillow and went to sleep. I was filled with happiness. Greg and Lauren were going to be sleeping in the living room with Ashton. My eyes were closed but my brain wasn't asleep. My head was filled with everything that had happened that night. I thought of Rosie and Abby, how they took time out of their night to simply walk me to my car. I thought of how Rosie wasn't going to allow myself to sit alone when there were plenty of people to meet. I wondered why Abby thought it was important to get me involved in conversation. How could I have thought it would be bad to meet new people? The temperature in my room seemed to drop. Behind my eyelids, there was a light. I peered through them to see someone was in the bathroom. I turned my body away from my door so I couldn't see it. The light seemed to get brighter and brighter. Someone was opening my door. It was late, so I didn't think it was my parents checking in on me. My spine tingled. I felt my bed shake for a moment. I kept my eyes shut. A cold and boney hand made its way to my neck. I gulped. It snuck its way down my shirt and into my bra. I tried to distract myself with thoughts of my friends. But it was no use. I was shaking in utter fear. Just when I thought he was done, another hand turned my body off of my back. It was freezing against my warm skin. I let a tear roll down my cheek as it crept into my pants. I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. I knew exactly who it was; there was no doubt in my mind. I screamed in my head but it didn't transfer to my mouth. I felt spurts of pain between my legs. It went on from 30 minutes to an hour. I couldn't breathe. I felt my airway was closing. His hands quickly retracted to the railing of my bed. I bit my tongue as he snuck his way out of my room. I saw the darkness behind my eyelids and took that as my chance to take a breath. I cried silently into my pillow until I choked on my tears. I couldn't sleep whatsoever. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to see my friends. My heart longed for someone to understand, to help me. I wanted so badly to die right then and there. I couldn't take the humiliation. Why me? The next day I hung up my blankets around my bottom bunk and hid inside my fort for the next couple days. Greg came by and apologized again. He tore down my blankets and sat on the edge of my bed. I hugged my knees as he told his story. "I looked it up....this condition...people have done things in their sleep that they don't remember." I stared into my knees. He's lying. He has to be. He knows he did something. I kept silent. He pulled out a small piece of paper. It was tiny and had some writing on it. He handed it to me and I watched my hand shake as I took it from him. It was in another language, I couldn't understand it. "It means 'I promise', in Gaelic. The Irish language. I know you love Celtic Thunder, so I thought you'd appreciate it." He kept his head down and walked out. I promise? What does he think he's gaining from this? I cried as soon as the front door closed. I needed this to stop. I wanted so badly to tell someone, but finding the right person to confide in was going to be difficult. I only had a handful of friends, and I trusted every single one, but I couldn't burden them with something this heavy on my heart. I was so afraid they'd look down on me. But I needed someone. I couldn't handle it by myself. It needed to be kept secretive. I couldn't let this get out; I could get in trouble with my parents if they found out. But who could keep this kind of burden? I cried from all the decisions I had to make. I was so overwhelmed and couldn't think straight. Maybe Rosie could help me? She was my age, I didn't many worries that she'd tell. I sat up against my wall and prayed.

​A few days later, I messaged Rosie, saying it was urgent. A couple hours after I sent it, I heard my phone go off. Rosie had responded. I was hesitant with my words so I didn't scare her away. "I have something that I have to tell you and I need it to be kept secret. It's important that it doesn't get out, it's really bad." She waited a few minutes before coming back with "I'm good at keeping secrets as long as it's not too bad. If it is, I usually tell my mom." I panicked. I couldn't let an adult know, they'd rat me out! "It won't impact you as much as it has for me." She agreed to hear me out and I explained my problems. I told her about both incidents and how scared I was. She didn't stay long but she apologized for what I was going through. I felt my heart sink. I just ruined a perfectly good friendship with my stupid secret. I felt the urge to scream but couldn't risk the questions I'd get from my family. A week went by and all I could do was talk to her. I couldn't stop apologizing for every little thing. I felt so helpless if I wasn't talking to her. I became clingy and obsessed with making sure I was talking to her. I wanted to stop and back up, but I couldn't stop myself. I was terrified and needed someone's safety. I cried after every conversation. I felt myself pushing her away from me, and it was my fault. I had never been so attached before. I felt compelled to talk to Greg about it. I didn't tell him why I was being so clingy, only that I couldn't stop myself from sending long messages. He was nice about it. He helped me sort through my feelings.

​I felt relieved that he understood what I was going through. He hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead. No one had ever done that to me before. My face turned red and I watched him leave. I had mixed feelings about him. If he loved me so much, why did he hurt me? I couldn't process his actions, but I forgave him once more. I wanted things to go smoothly, without chaos. I went to bed and actually kept my emotions under control. Or so I thought. I dreamed in color as the nights blended together. I forgot of the nightmares that had previously taken over me.