His Broken Promise

Chapter 4

Cameron and I spent the night a lot after Ashton came home. His nursery was the farthest room from the apartment door. I spent a lot of time in there when I wasn't helping Lauren clean. I took advantage of Greg being at work to hold Ashton more. Lauren liked how I was with him. I assumed it was my glasses that caught his eye, but he stared at me all the time. A couple months after his birth, he smiled often. I got him to smile every time I walked through the door. I had never had a connection with a child like that.

​March 2012. Spring break was coming up and Lauren and Greg had invited Cameron and I to stay with them the first night. Greg and Lauren were Twilight fans like me, and we had planned to watch the first part of the last movie in their apartment. I wore my team Edward shirt just for Lauren. I was a Jacob fan, but didn't have any of his shirts. Cameron didn't have much care for the movies. When Sunday came around, I packed my bags before worship. As I walked through the foyer, I saw my friends gathered together by the mailboxes. I smiled and hugged all of them tightly. I felt so blessed that morning to have such good friends. I loved them more than myself. After bible class, we sat together in the front of the auditorium like always. I sat in between Abby and Rosie and listened to their voices as we sang to God. As we sang Our God He is Alive, I felt my heart warm up. I was amazed at how beautiful their souls were. I looked up their whole family. As we stood for closing prayer, Abby and Rosie took both my hands in theirs and all of the teen girls were joined together. I smiled as I listened to my heart beat faster and faster. I was overjoyed to have friends as special as they were. I didn't make friends easily, and they took me in. I was lucky to have them. I had a good time talking with them before I left for home. My parents commented at my happiness on our way home. I immediately missed their presence as we arrived at our house. I fell against my pillow as I drifted to sleep. I dreamt of my friends and how our futures might be together. I never wanted to leave Smithfield. It was my home away from home. I was shaken awake by my brother before being able to finish my dream. I got ready for evening worship and checked my bags to make sure I had everything for the night. I sat at the end of the row when we got there. Abby was to my left. I couldn't focus on the lesson too well without my ADD medicine. My thoughts were going berserk the whole hour. I was so distracted by what I expected the night to be like; I almost didn't pay attention to when we were supposed to stand for the last song. My face turned red as I saw I was the last to stand. I sang quietly so no one could hear my voice shake. Abby took my hand for the closing prayer as usual, and all my nerves went away. I didn't think much of it until the ride home. I smiled as I thought of the impact a hand had on me. I brushed the thought aside and focused on my night with my sister. I wanted everything to be perfect. When Greg picked us up, he told us Lauren was with Ashton at the apartment already. When we arrived at the apartment, he told Cameron to go inside so he could talk to me. I was in the front seat when he unlocked the doors. "Switch seats with me", he whispered. I obeyed without hesitation. I reached my hand out to take the keys out of the ignition, but he pushed me away. I looked at him in confusion. He calmly asked me to back out of the parking lot. I took a breath and put it in reverse. To my surprise, it went smoothly. He directed me where to drive, and I obeyed. Being 14, I was terrified we'd get caught. After I drove around the neighborhood nearby, I found an old park and stopped. We switched seats again and drove back to the apartment. He commended me on how well I did on our way there. I was as surprised as he was. It wasn't my first time driving, but it was my first time on the streets. He had taken me to big parking lots to help me practice but this was a big step for me. When we opened the door, Lauren was holding Ashton with the darkest look on her face. "Where were you?" Greg took her by the arm and led her to their bedroom. I sat with Cameron on the couch and watched the title screen to the movie until they came out. Lauren was ticked off with both of us but agreed to watch the movie without causing a fight. I sat on the floor while Lauren and Cameron shared the couch. Greg sat in the futon and pressed play. Ashton was asleep in the nursery for most of the movie. When it ended, Lauren went to bed and Cameron fell asleep on the couch. It was very late in the night, but Greg and I discussed the movie. He lay beside me on the floor and we listened to the music play from the title screen. It was about 4am when I dozed off. Greg was a few feet away from me, snoring. It didn't take long before I heard Ashton cry from the nursery. I was still asleep but I heard footsteps by my head. I was drowning in my dreams when I felt my pants move. I didn't think much of it until it felt like they were about to come off. I opened my eyes slightly to see Greg by my feet. I pulled my pants back up and moved to my right side. I assumed he was trying to play a joke on me. A couple minutes later, I heard heavy breathing by my left ear. I didn't move a muscle. All of a sudden a burst of ice cold air flew into my shirt. I tucked my hands in between my knees. I thought it was just a breeze until I realized it was a hand. I felt it slither down from my neck. I was shaking. Please no. I pretended I was asleep so I didn't get in trouble. My shirt was pulled halfway down my torso. I held back my tears as my bra began to fall. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter than ever. After what seemed like a lifetime, my bra and shirt went back into place. I took a small breath before hearing their bedroom door shut. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. Cameron was still asleep so I rolled over and closed my eyes. Pictures of my friends and family went through my head. "Why did he do that", I whispered through my tears. I crossed my arms over my chest and went back to sleep. The nightmares were the only things I could count on. I heard footsteps a couple hours later and felt my body tense up. I sprung up quickly to find Lauren in the kitchen making breakfast. She looked happy. I can't ruin her marriage. "Where's Greg?" She looked up from the counter and informed me he had already left for work. I took a deep breath and sat against the couch. Coward. Lauren and I talked for a while before hearing Ashton cry. As she walked to the nursery, I took that time to really think over my options. I could tell her, but do I really know what happened? I mean, what if he lies and says he was just playing a joke? I bit my lip and decided it was too risky. I'd ruin a marriage...I couldn't be held responsible for something that huge. I tried not to think about it as the day went on, but that's all my mind could focus on. Greg came back around noon and Lauren left at the same time to go to her work. Greg didn't pay any attention to me until he saw I was shaking. I told him it was nothing and he took me to the nursery. I sat against the baby crib and stared blankly into space. He sat in front of me and asked me to tell him what was wrong. I looked around and tried to imagine myself elsewhere, but all I could say was "I was awake." He raised his eyebrows and bit his lip. "You mean...last night?" I nodded and looked at my hands. I hardly noticed I was picking at the skin around my thumb until it started to bleed. Greg cleared his throat. "I don't remember a whole lot of what happened last night...but I know I did something to you." I felt a lump in my throat as I held back my tears. "I never wanted to hurt you, Mads." My heart felt heavy. I wanted to leave and never look back. He apologized and led me to the living room. I packed my things and made sure Cameron was awake. I felt Greg's presence behind me as I gathered up my last few items. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as he put his hand on my shoulder. Please make it stop. I shook him off and grabbed the car keys. I started the car and made sure Cameron sat in the back with me. The ride home was silent. I felt so lost and alone. I didn't know who to go to or what to say. I kept quiet for days. I didn't make a sound. My parents were used to my silence since I never was a big talker. I guess they assumed it was my normal behavior. I cried every night, hoping someone would kill me so I didn't have to go through it any longer. But no one came.