Bring It On Home- A Destiel AU [COMPLETED]

Chapter 13

Castiel's Christmas spread was enough food for seven linebackers. A roast chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, macaroni, mini corndogs, baked beans, white rice, rolls, lime jello, M&Ms, and of course gummy bears. It all tasted damn frickin' good.

"I have to admit," Dean said between bites, "this is all way more normal than I was anticipating. I was expecting tofu tacos and falafel."

Cas speared a gummy bear with his fork. "That would be selfish of me, wouldn't it?" he asked. "To prepare food only I would like?" He gingerly bit the head off of the bear.

Dean chewed his mini corndog slowly and swallowed. "I didn't think of it that way."

Cas nibbled at the bear's stubby legs, then grabbed the whole thing in his teeth and ate it. He smiled at Dean. "Besides, Christmas is a time to embrace one's traditionalist roots, to recreate one's fondest memories and wallow in nostalgia. I didn't know what was traditional in Kansas, so I assembled a variety of comfort foods from my own upbringing..."

Dean set down his silverware and stared. "How did you know I'm from Kansas?"

Cas blinked. "I thought it was obvious." He lifted the pitcher next to him. "More lemonade?"

"I'm fine, thanks," Dean answered, still unable to stop staring. "How is it obvious?"

Cas poured himself some lemonade and shrugged. "It's just... clear to me. You probably mentioned it once."

Dean nodded, only he didn't think he hadmentioned it, and he couldn't help but feel somehow naked, somehow cornered, somehow exposed because Cas could see just by lookingwhat everybody else never bothered to ask. He took another scoop of macaroni, and felt an uncontrollable urge to somehow dig back at Cas. "And by the way, why are you celebrating Christmas?" he asked, a little too sharply. "I thought you were agnostic. Shouldn't we be eating Winter Solstice dinner or something?"

The corner of Castiel's mouth turned up softly, and he picked at his beans. "Yes, Dean," he answered. "I do remember."

Dean frowned. "Remember what?"

"Last weekend. When you kissed me." Cas sighed and gazed down at his plate in resignation, and said in a low voice, "I wanted to give you a good Christmas because I'm afraid that our friendship won't last much longer. And I wanted you to have a good memory of me, later."

Dean flashed hot and cold all at once but mostly he just felt stunned, and he said, "Cas. What the fuck are you talking about. We're friends. Are you - are you saying you don't want to be friends?"

"I bought three pies," Cas blurted, still looking at his plate, his cheeks a growing a little pink. "There was apple, and cherry, and pumpkin, and I didn't know which one you wanted so I bought all three."

Dean felt extremely confused. "Cas," he said, a pleading note leaking into his voice, "I have no idea what you mean by that."

Cas closed his eyes tightly. "I apologize, Dean, I... Fuck. Shit. I need a smoke." He stood up from the table and walked quickly to the hallway.

Dean sat for a moment in his chair, alone in the dining room.

Then he stood up, and went after Cas.

Down the dark hallway, yellow light spilled out of the open bedroom door. Dean walked to the door and saw Cas sitting on a mattress on the floor, fumbling with a lighter and a cigarette. The room was sparse, with just one lamp near the head of the mattress, an ashtray, and a large black pentagram made of electrical tape spanning the hardwood floor.

"You left dinner for devil worship?" Dean clicked his tongue. "Hardly in the holiday spirit, Cas."

Cas started at his voice, then slumped. "It's a protection symbol," he muttered around the cigarette. "I do my meditation here."

Dean walked over to Cas and sat on the edge of the mattress and willed himself to be as collected as possible. "Look. Cas. I'm sorry if I - if I offended you when I kissed you. I know, you probably felt like... Like I was using you, because I was lonely and drunk. And you'd be right." He scratched the back of his head and accepted the fact that he was just going to blush forever for the rest of his life. "But if you can forgive me, I still want to be friends with you."

Cas chuckled and shook his head and blew out a stream of smoke. "My sister Anna, she once said to me, 'Jimmy, you know what your problem is? You see something you can't have, and you know it. You tell yourself you don't need it anyway. But you look at it real long and hard, and go by the display every day, sigh a little and put your nose to the window, go inside and look at the price sometimes, and you go on wanting it just the same. You don't know how to let go.'" He took a drag and blew it out. "Well, I really did it this time. I screwed us both over. So I'm sorry, Dean. I swear I didn't mean to."

Dean had this strange twisting feeling in his gut and an odd light feeling in his head and a tingling in his hands, and he said, "Cas, whatever you're apologizing for, it's probably not that bad."

Cas turned his head and gave Dean a hard look. "You know exactly what I'm apologizing for."

Dean swallowed and found his throat suddenly rusty and he croaked, "From what I can tell, you're saying you're into me but I'm off-limits."

Cas looked away and put his cigarette to his mouth.

Everything in Dean trembled softly and he stammered, "Wh-what if I'm not. Off-limits."

Cas froze.

He stubbed his cigarette in the ashtray.

He put his hands on his knees.

"Well." He cleared his throat. "That's." He cleared it again. "I see."

And in spite of himself, Dean grinned and laughed and said, "Wait a minute, did I just surprise you? Did I just say something that Castiel the Psychic did not see coming?"

Castiel glared indignantly. "I've known this whole fucking time you're hot for me, Dean Winchester, I just never thought you'd admit it! You've told me about seven times how 'straight' you are!" He made air quotes with his fingers.

"Oh puh-lease." Dean rolled his eyes. "You had no idea! You went completely catatonic just then."

Cas snorted. "I went catatonic because I instantly pictured this -" and suddenly he put his hands to Dean's face and kissed him like a goddamn motherfucking sex god.

Dean was only stunned for a second.

The next second he was kissing back and dragging his hands through Cas's hair and biting his lip and oh God the way Cas moaned and Dean was pushing him down on the bed, shoving his tongue down his throat and gasping, they were both gasping for breath and panting and grinding and oh fuck it was good, and Dean's legs were scissored between his and he kept kissing and thrusting and shoving his hand up Cas's sweater and shit, that was what you did with a chick, fuck it Cas liked it anyways and biting and groaning and licking Cas's neck and kissing and rubbing and friction and Cas's fingers digging into his back and faster and harder and fuck, fuck, more and again and again and again and Cas gasping Dean, Dean, I'm gonna, I'm gonna co- and FUUUUCK.

They collapsed there for a moment, panting, and then Dean rolled off of him and laid flat on the mattress.

"Merry Christmas," Dean rasped.