Broken

Comfort

DAN

The pain was unbearable. It was like it was all happening again.

I almost didn't believe my eyes when the lightning illuminated the familiar blue of Phil's eyes.

But once I heard him speak. He called me Bear. I knew it was real.

He held me close, the rain pouring down on us. I buried my head in his embrace, trying to escape the horrible thunder storm. The sound around me seemed to disappear.

I could still feel the thunder when it rumbled past, and pulled him closer.

After what seemed like hours of fear and confusion- I was leaning on Phil as he unlocked the door to the flat. That made me more confused.

How had we gotten here?

I could hardly keep my head up. My throat was raw from screaming, my eyes tired from crying. My lungs ached along with my elbow. I tensed like a scared kitten when I heard thunder outside.

Phil guided me to my bedroom door. It almost felt like a dream- finally being laid down in my own bed. In dry clothes.
My depressing comforter was suddenly the most amazing thing as it draped over my trembling shoulders.
My trembling was infrequent now- I was too weak to tremble continuously.
      "Can I get you anything?" Phil asked softly, brushing my damp hair out of my face.
I took a deep breath before shaking my head. I just wanted to sleep
Phils hand left my hair.
       "Phil- wait." I cried quietly.
He stopped and gave me a smile.
I reached out for him.
       "S-stay.. please." I begged.
He didn't say anything as he stepped closer again, lifting the corner of the comforter and sliding onto the bed next to me. He lay on his side in his pajamas- wait , when had he changed?- and faced me. I knew I was in pajamas as well. I had no memory of changing clothes.
I closed my eyes trying to calm my body and ignore the distant rumbling of thunder.
I was freezing- my hands nearly numb. I curled them into fists, and pulled them close to my chest. feeling my icy skin.
I wanted now more than ever to slide into Phil's chest. Though I knew he might not feel the same way, I loved him. He was my safety. My warmth.
My best friend.
The best thing to ever happen to me.
I wanted his familiar smell to erase my memory. I wanted to forget this night and the night that haunted me. I wanted his strong arms to wrap around me and his soft voice to comfort me.
I trembled again- this time letting out a sort of pathetic sound. It was like a cry that was too tired to come out all the way.
Something warm slid under my waist, between me and the mattress and curled around my back. I jumped but kept my eyes closed, enjoying the new warmth.
It was Phil. His other arm wrapped around my exposed shoulder and pulled me close. I felt his chest against my arms which were now pinned between us. his legs intertwined with mine. He had socks on.
He kissed the top of my head as nuzzled into his warm neck. I took a deep breath. Rain mixed with Phil's smell filled my chest with ease. For the first time today- I didn't feel afraid. His hands on my back. His warm breath on my hair. His strong chest shielding me from the storm. The feeling of us- together. My heart beat at a fast pace and my face heated up. I wanted this moment to last forever. I fought sleep for as long as I could , just soaking up the feeling of Phil.
But It wasn't long before I fell into an exhausted dreamless sleep.
Wrapped in the arms of the man who had always been there for me- and always would be.
--

I woke up slowly, my head feeling heavy. I was warm- though I could immediately sense whatever was in my arms was not Phil. I squinted as I opened my eyes. I sat up slowly, letting the haru body pillow fall out of my arms.
Last night hadn't been a dream- had it?
I swallowed nervously and jumped in pain. My throat burned.
It definitely hadn't been a dream.
I glanced around the dimly lit room and spotted a piece of paper taped to the doorknob.
I got up uneasily, seized by the cold of the room. I shivered as I grabbed the paper.
I held it close to my face as I read, trying to stay standing.

       Good morning! I hope you slept well. I will be in the kitchen making pancakes if you'd like any- but don't feel like you need to. Wrap up in something warm and come sit with me, I made some tea as well. And if you want to talk about yesterday than I'm ready to listen. If not lets watch some anime and just take it easy. Does that sound alright?
- Phil

I couldn't help but smile down at Phil's note. He is so precious. What did I ever do to deserve him?
I pulled my comforter off of the bed, my arms sore. It flopped over me heavily- some heat still trapped inside it. I opened the door and shuffled slowly towards the kitchen. As I passed the lounge I saw that Totoro was playing on the TV with no one watching.

I walked into the kitchen, seeing Phil flawlessly catching a pancake.

He turned around as he heard me enter the kitchen. I squinted against the lights. The smell of syrup filled my head and made my stomach growl.

Phil smiled at me.
       "Well, from that whale in your stomach I'm guessing you'll be having some pancakes!" Phil giggled sliding the pancake off the pan and onto a growing stack of the delicious things.
I blushed and wrapped my blanket tighter around my torso.
Phil set the pan down on the stove and shut it off. He pulled of his apron and tossed it onto the counter.
He walked up to me and smoothed my sleepy hobbit hair.
      "How are you feeling?" He asked, still smiling.
I took a deep breath.
      "Better." I sighed, longing to hug Phil. But I didn't, "it smells amazing." I added.
His smile grew, his tongue poking out slightly. My heart fluttered.
       "Let's eat!" He said, turning and grabbing the plate of pancakes. I followed him as he walked into the lounge. There was a tray set up in front of the tv with syrup, milk, and utensils on it. I couldn't help but smile as Phil set the pancakes in the middle of the tray.
I couldn't believe he did this for me. I blushed harder at the fact that if the Phandom ever found out- there would be an absolute melt down. I sat on the floor next to Phil and we ate breakfast, watching Totoro. About halfway through the movie I laid down, resting my head on Phil's leg. He didn't argue as he put his hand  on my shoulder. For the millionth time that morning, my heart fluttered.
The movie ended all to soon.
I sat up and Phil cleared the dishes. I switched off the tv.
I turned around to see Phil leaning against the doorframe, staring at me. I couldn't read his expression.
      "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked sweetly.
I nodded hesitantly, my heart speeding up.
He walked forward and sat on the couch in front of me. I sat next to him, though not very close.
I took a deep breath.
        "So.. uh.." my chest began shaking, "I'm.. terribly afraid of thunder.."
Phil huffed out a laugh.
      "I noticed." He smiled.
I didn't smile as I began diggin into my past. A past I had tried so hard to bury.
       "Y-yeah.. I should explain why... " I sighed, searching for the right words, "well.. I wasn't always afraid of thunder. It started w-when I was 14.. "