helpless || Lin-Manuel Miranda

say no to this | five

 We had the night off, so I headed down to a club at night with Jasmine. After of rethinking my small school girl crush on Lin I finally knew my feelings for him, but tonight Jasmine and I are going to ignore our problems! We walk in, and I sit on a stool at the bar and Jasmine plopped on the chair next to me. Jasmine calls over the bartender for two glasses of wine, and I just sit there silently twirling my hair. 

 Two glasses of wine sat in front of us both, we clinked our glasses and took a large sip. I usually didn't do good with alcohol but being the stupid girl I am, finished my wine and ordered another drink. I gulped down the wine quickly and ended up getting another three glasses. I stood up and felt a bit tipsy; I walked towards the dance floor and then heard four familiar voices when making my way to the dance floor! I twirl around and yell out to Jasmine, "Jasmine! Let's go!" I exaggerated, and she rushed over. "Ashland, I think it's better if we go home." She smiles with a pained expression. "Why?" I hiccupped, she looked over across the club, and I saw Oak, Anthony, Daveed and Lin. "Jasmine look who it is!" I giggled rushing over to them in a drunken state. Jasmine rushed after me and shook her head. "What are you two doing here?" Oak asked raising his eyebrow. "We-" I hiccupped before getting interrupted, "We're about to leave!" Jasmine smiled and took my hand. "But I thought we-" I told Jasmine as she gave me a look I couldn't understand. Maybe she's just tired!

 "Lin!" I giggled and ran over to him and kissed his cheek. "Ashland. You need to go home" He said seriously. "Ooooh, Lin's protective!" Daveed smirked looking at the two of us. "But I just got here!" I giggle, and he shakes his head disappointed. "Ashland I think it's better if you go home before I do something I'm going to regret." Lin whispered in my ear, and I look at him confused, "Oh! Are we sharing secrets!? I have a secret!" I smile brightly before whispering in his ear, "I like you" After I said that, he was red? "Lin, why are you red?" I asked him curiously, and he just shakes his head. I place my lips on him, but he doesn't kiss back. I pull away, pouting. "Why didn't you kiss back?" I heard snickers and laughs from the others, but I don't know why. Lin grabs the back of my head and smashes his lips against mine and kisses me passionately.  Wolf whistles surrounded us. Lin pulled away and walked away leaving me speechless. "Ashland, how about we go home now?" Jasmine smiled ushering me out of the club. I looked back seeing Lin with his head in his hands and Oak, Daveed and Anthony patting his back. 

Time skip brought to you by the guns and ships rap!

 The next day we had rehearsals again for one of my favorite scenes, 'Best of Wives and Best of Women.' and then a few other scenes. 

We finished practicing Act One + Act Two then we began 'Best of Wives and Best of Women.'

 I walk out in a nightgown going over to Lin, "Alexander come back to sleep" I sang then kissed his head. "I have an early meeting out of town" He sang, not looking at me. "It's still dark outside" I sang looking at stage left. "I know. I just need to write something down." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Why do you write like you're running out of time-" I got interrupted by him, "Shh" He placed his hands on mine. "Come back to bed; that'll be enough" I begged "I'll be back before you know I'm gone," He looked up at me with love in his eyes. "Come back to sleep" I begged him with love in my face. "This meeting at dawn." He announced. "Well, I'm going back to sleep." I sighed about to walk off, but he stood up grabbing my hands. "Hey-" I looked at him. "Best of Wives and Best of Women." he smiled at me. I hugged him and then kissed him on the lips. I walked off stage with the taste of his lips still on mine. 'The World Was Wide Enough' began, and I just walked off stage secretly admiring Lin. 

'Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story' played and I waited for my cue.

"I put myself back in the narrative.." I murmur, "I stop wasting time on tears; I live another fifty years; It's not enough." "I interview every soldier who fought by your side."

"I try to make sense of your thousands of pages of writings, You really do write like you're running out of time." I look into the auditorium. "I rely on Angelica, while she's alive we tell your story.." "She is buried in Trinity Church near you When I needed her most she was right on time."  "And I'm still not through, I ask myself, "What would you do if you had more time?" "The Lord in his kindness he gives me what you always wanted. He gives me more time!" I sang and then began raising my voice. "I raise funds in D.C. for the Washing Monument!"

"She tells my story," Christopher sang, and I continued my lines.

"I speak out against slavery! You could have done so much more if you only had time!"

I lowered my voice, "And when my time is up, have I done enough? Will they tell your story?"

"Oh!" I spoke up. "Can I show you what I'm proudest of?"

"I established the first private orphanage in New York City!"

"I help to raise hundreds of children; I get to see them growing up."

"In their eyes, I see you, Alexander." I sang loudly "I see you every time."

"And when my time is up, Have I done enough? Will they tell my story?"

"Oh I can't wait to see you again, It's only a matter of time-" I finish the choreography with walking off away from Lin and ending the song. We finished the rehearsal and I went backstage to quickly change out of costume. "Ashland!" Lin yelled. "What?" I turned around to see him panting. "I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about last night." He said guilty. 

"What do you mean?" I laugh, "Nothing bad happened right?" But I was too drunk to remember.