BANE: avenge

Chapter 1

I jolted awake to the sound of pounding on my door. Sitting up, my eyes adjusted to the light, & took in the steam in my left eye, with over-particularising alerts flashing in my neyetifications. I still hadn't figured out how to shape the steam so that it won't go berserk over a bit of fog in my eye when I woke up in the morn. I could, of course, simply take out my Condensed Liquiform Analytical Engine Lenses, but I always forget to do so before bed. I sighed, & rubbed my hand against my eye, clearing it out a bit.

I heard an annoying voice on the other side of the door.

" Ollieeeeee! Wake up, my dear Mademoiselle Olliephant!"

What was it today? Why did he insist on waking me up from my slumber? He is always waking me up at the crack of dawn, the old cove.

" Ollie... I know you are awake!" followed by more pounding on the poor door.

" OooollieollieollieollieAraElephantOllie!", followed by even more abuse on the poor door.

I wondered why it took the abuse. Why did it not just lash out upon the bloke & destroy him. It would surely help me, in the least.

" I am coming in on the count of three, Ollie!" he threatens.

As if that would make me do aught at all.

" One!" he counted.

I just snuggled into my blankets.

" Two!" he announced.

Why was he counting so slowly? He was going to finish counting when we were old, & by the time, I should have grown a beard! Which was nigh impossible, considering the facts. It would be truly frightful if it were possible, I should have thought.

" Ollieeeeee, you promised to come out today... You said you would come to the park with me before that bumbling snob of your betrothed came for a fortnight." he pleaded.

" Hermes is not a bumbling snob, you curmudgeon!!" I yelled in defence.

" A-ha! So you are awake!" he yelled as he waltzed in to my chambre.

I buried myself beneath the covers, like any proper gentle-lady should do. I felt the weight of the bed shift as someone else climbed on.

Maybe I should have taken my chances & dashed somewhere else instead of hiding beneath the covers...

" Ollieeee, come out, Elephantieee.." he said, terrorizing me, shaking me to the core.

I stopped breathing, because that way he would definitely not see me. No chance. At all. For a moment, it was all still. I did not feel him move, or make any noise at all.

Then, he ripped the blanket off of me, & I let out a high-pitched shriek with my eyes scrunched closed. 

He cackled, picked me up, & started jumping on the bed. I yelled at him, telling him to put me down, while getting completely shaken by the jumping. He disregarded my shouting & continued jumping, while I started to get air-sick. Except I was not on an air-ship, I was just being...

" Rattled around while my dim-witted oaf picks me up & jumps on my bed!!" I yelled at him, trying to kick him with my feet, which he quickly grabbed & immobilised.

" Put me down, you dolt!"

" No."

" Why not?!"

" You said you would come to the park with me."

" I know! I never said I wasn't!"

" You refused to wake up." he said plainly, as if that explained everything.

" Just put me down before I involuntarily discharge the contents of my Internal Edible Material Processor by the probably no longer Edible Material ascending through the Musculo-membranous Passage that leads from the Internal Edible Material Processor to the Alimentary Canal, past my Outer Facial Labium & from there, expelling onto the outer covering of your Physical Being." I gasped for air after having said this rapidly; that is to say, all in one breath.

" In other words, put me down before I hurl, Pippin. Please." I asked nicely.

" Nope." He grinned.

Well. Too bad for him. I lifted my head & let out a high-pitched scream. I heard a crash in the not so far distance as Pippin fell backwards, & I landed on the area of his Internal Edible Material Processor, making him gag. I heard running steps coming from my sister's room's direction. I stayed seated on my new chair & waited, Pippin's eyes widening at an astonishing rate. 

My sister, Elle, explodes through the door holding what seems to be a device used for bashing someone. She looks around the room worriedly, & realising there is nobody, fixes her eyes upon my seat & I angrily, marching over in wrath while I struggle not to have a bodily attack in which one loses control of their Physical Being, convulses, & involuntarily releases spontaneous bursts of air & vocal noises in amusement. (Otherwise termed, laughter.)

" Gadaranine Olesya Eberneus!" she said angrily.

Oh dear. Maybe if I smiled exceedingly widely with my mouth shut and my eyes pretty wide it would be better?

" Do not laugh at me! I am quite serious, Gadaranine!"

I guess not. It was worth a try, though.

" You wake me from my slumber, shrieking like a heathen, when it is only Master Peregrine and yourself up to your usual capers. I have been meaning to discuss this matter for some time now. You should know better by now. You are almost a grown lady & yet you frolic & caper about like a mere child! Sitting upon a young man of my age! The shame! It is unheard of & completely unheard of!" she paused, shaking her stately & womanly head in disappointment.

Discuss. Ha! More like give a speech upon the matter!

" ...& you, Peregrine!" she lifted her head & she focused her gaze upon my chair, relieving me of the tirade for now.

" You, Peregrine, which are as old as I, should be as mature as I am, & yet you encourage her disgrace-making of your family, & the further degradation of ours by joining in, &  even, you dare to initiate such spectacles! You blatantly disregard all boundaries that should be in place due to our different standing in gender & position. You should be gravely ashamed to be skylark making about with a young lady which is engaged, & in her own room, nonetheless!"

At this, I realised what she was so furious over, & flushed madly as my face morphed into a completely mortified expression.

I stammered & fumbled as I scrambled off of my former chair, almost fall making flat on my face when getting off the bed, mean-time, miserably try making to explain that it was nothing of the sort, I had never considered it, that was one of the most daft - ridiculous, preposterous, in fact - assumptions I had ever in-taken through my Sound Reception devices.

My sister huffs & leaves the room, shoot making a disapprove-showing glance in Pippin's direction, but saying no more.

***

Hey, guys!! *sits across the table from you and wiggles eyebrows* I know it's kind of soon, (haha it's never too soon, aye?) but what do you think about Pippin and Ara? That nickname, tho... Mademoiselle Olliephant? Yah, nah, or blah?  (That's kinda catchy, isn't it? Say it aloud and you'll see what I mean...)

**Disclaimer: Oh, you might not want to say it aloud with people around, they'll think you're crazy - might or might not know this from experience... :P**

Don't forget to vote if you liked it.

-Legolass+