A Forbidden Love Between Edward and Jacob: A Lot of Angry Sex

Chapter Six

Chapter Six: Bella

I can't believe that Edward would leave me for that dog. I mean, I used to like Jacob, but not anymore since he stole my man. Edward was about to confess his love for me when that absolute idiot came in and ruined it all. We could have been happy together, we would have. But that was all destroyed when Jacob popped out of the bushes and won over Edward's heart. He was supposed to be in love with me! They both were. Neither of them ever showed any interest in anyone but me! It shouldn't have ended that way, I should've been with one of them. But now they have each other, and I have nobody. I mean, I have friends.... And my dad... And my mom... But none of them could ever understand! I was just coming to a decision then they both left me. I haven't seen either of them since that day, and probably for good reason, too. I don't know what I'd do if I saw them. I bet they're happy together. I don't think I'd be able to stand seeing their them happy without me, not when I'm so miserable. I mean, I wished they'd stop hating each other and become closer, but I didn't mean this close! I still don't understand what happened. One day, they were all over me, the next, they were suddenly in love with each other. I don't know what to do with myself, this is just too weird for me. And how Jacob confessed his love for Edward! To be honest, I thought it was for me at first. I thought it was an odd choice of song, but decided not to judge because it's the thought that counts. Then I saw where he was looking. He wasn't looking at me, but somewhere past me. He was looking behind me. At Edward.

It was that moment that my heart broke in two. It was like all the air had been knocked out of my lungs. I didn't know what to do but stand there gaping like a fish. It was horrible. I had been miserable for the past few weeks. But today, as I continued my wailing and wallowing, I was interrupted. My dad opened the door and poked his head in, "Hey, how you holding up?" he asked. I knew he was concerned, I had been acting up towards him ever since Edward and Jacob left me. He knew that Jacob wasn't talking to me anymore, but I hadn't told him why and I didn't plan on doing so anytime soon. Or ever.

He raised his eyebrows at me expectantly and I realized that I still hadn't answered him. "I'm okay. I guess." I replied in monotone voice. He just sighed exasperatedly. "Look," he started, "I know this hasn't been easy on you, Jacob was one of your oldest friends, but you can't go around acting as if you don't have any other relationships in your life. You have your mother, friends, and..." he started to look around nervously, "You have me." I rolled my eyes at him, getting a little frustrated. He kept trying to push this kind of father-daughter love that just wasn't there. He kept talking, "I know that you don't look to me for support, and I understand why you don't, I haven't been a particularly prominent father-figure, but can you please just give me a chance? I want to make things right." I could see the desperation clear in his eyes and became a bit sorry. He hadn't me in his life for just as long as I hadn't him in mine. "I guess so..." I said, some what reluctant. A huge smile broke out on his face, "That's great! Now, I have to tell you, I made an appointment for you with a therapist." I know he could see the fight forming on my face because he quickly came to own defense, "I know you don't the idea, but I think it'll be really good for you. You need someone to talk to that can help you and I really believe that Dr. Smalls can do that for. You've been really closed off and touchy lately and I understand why, but you need to move on and I think that this is best way because all you've done so far is mope in your bedroom." I started to object, "Dad, I get that you want what's best for me, but I really don't want to go." He stared at me for a few seconds, face completely blank. It was as if he was calculating. Then he took a deep breath, "I can tell that you're not going willingly, so I'm putting my foot down. You are going and that's final." he said definitively as he looked me straight in the eyes. I blew out a breath, defeated. "When is it?" I asked, extremely annoyed. "Tuesday, 4:30. This'll be good, I promise." He said as he left the room. "Yeah, whatever." I muttered under my breath as the door closed behind him.

This is awful. Why would I want to pay someone to talk about my feelings to so they can give me bullshit feed back? I don't want to talk to stranger, or anyone, for that matter, about my issues, I can handle it fine on my own. I sighed loudly, as that is my prime form of communication, and threw myself down on the bed. I couldn't believe he was making me do this. It was bad enough that I was dumped by two guys at the same time, but now I have to talk about it to some woman who's definitely going to judge me?! This was too much for me and I didn't want to think about anymore. I went to sleep, or more like tried to. I was up almost all night because I couldn't stop freaking out about that damn appointment. You see, the thing is, I have trouble talking about my feelings and thusly rarely ever do. I don't like making myself vulnerable and giving people an opportunity to hurt me. But, because I next to never open up and talk about myself, on the off occasion that I do, it tends to go rather poorly. Last time I got personal with someone and told her all my problems, she said that I was a baby and needed to get over it. She then proceeded to repeat what I had said to everyone she knew. It was the most betrayed I had ever felt and I wasn't willing to risk going through that again. I did not want to go to that appointment.