Greenflame // fake smiles ((completed))

ᴏ ɴ ᴇ

Trigger warning: this whole book just needs a trigger warning because it's triggering af

Lloyd

Laying in my bed, listening to music, and crying, nothing new to me. It's not like I want to feel so horrible all the time. I can't help it. I want to feel happy, but sometimes I feel like it is impossible.

I'm not even crying for a reason. Well not anything new.. I just hate that it has to be like this. I stand up from my bed wiping my tears. I look over at the clock.

2:03am

I really wish I could sleep again. I sigh and get into a pair of sweatpants and a green t-shirt. I put of a sweatshirt just incase its cold.

I leave my room a head for the door when I hear someone call my name.

"Lloyd?"

I turn around to see Kai. He towers over me. Not because he is tall, but because I'm short. Just another reason I hate myself.

"What are you doing?" He asks yawning.

"I couldn't sleep so I'm going to the park to take a walk," I say.

"Okay, well I'm going back to bed. Be careful yeah?" He says then goes back to his room.

-

I walk down the streets of ninjago. Not many people are outside this late (or should I say early).

I hug my body keeping my body warm. I keep my head down trying to hide my face feeling paranoid someone is watching me.

I start to get a little cold, so I walk into a shop closest to me, which happened to be a coffee shop. The smell of coffee fills the small shop. I walk up to a small table a sit down.

I look outside the window seeing a couple holding hands and a few teenagers smiling a laughing. I wish I could do that.

I wish I could hold hands with someone. I wish I could wake up next to someone everyday. I wish I had someone to spill my guts out to. I wish I had someone to whisper sweet little nothings in my ear. I wish someone would love me.. ha yeah right! Like someone could ever love me..

I wish I could smile. I wish I could laugh without a care in the world. I wish I didn't have to think about everything I did. I wish I didn't have voices in my head saying I'm not good enough. I wish I was happy.. like that will ever happen.

"Sir, would you like anything to drink?"

I look up to see a waiter.

"Oh, um I don't really like coffee," I say.

"Then why are you in a coffee shop?" He asks me. I give him a sad look, "I-I'm sorry that sounded rude. I never think before saying things."

"No, it's fine."

"We have hot chocolate or water," the waiter said.

"Water," I said. Even though the water would probably be cold (I'm already cold enough) I didn't want to get hot chocolate. I'm too fat for that.

The waiter leaves to get my drink and I sit in the chair quietly. I put my hands on the table and begin to scratch my thumb. It's an anxiety habit I have.

The waiter puts the water down on the table,"Are you okay."

"Yes," I answer quickly.

I can feel his stare on me. I feel uncomfortable, but I don't say anything.

"My name is Avery."

I look up at him, "I'm Lloyd."

He smiles and sits down in the chair across from me," What are you doing here to late, Lloyd?"

"I couldn't sleep," I answer plainly.

"Why not?"

What is he doing? Why does he care? No one has really cared to ask me any questions. I guess it just surprised me, "I don't know. Stress."

Lies.

I know exactly why. My mind won't stop. It just keep thing about bad things. The voices in my head are keeping me away.

"Life can be stressful," he says with a chuckle.

I look at the clock and see that it is 3:47am. I should be going home. "I have to go."

Avery frowns. Then he grabs a napkin and jots something down and hands it to me. "Have a good night."

I leave shoving the napkin in my pocket not bothering to look at it. I start walking home.

I'm so confused why he was sad when I had to leave. There are so many people he could talk to. Well most of them are asleep. Maybe that's why he talked to me. He got bored.

I enter my room closing my door quietly. I change out of what I'm wearing putting on my pyjamas.
-
Okay that was the first chapter I hope you enjoyed. Greenflame will start soon I promise.