Greenflame // fake smiles ((completed))

f o u r

This chapter is dedicated to Deal_with_it_1394

Read the A/N at the end of the chapter please :(

Tw: swearing, self harm, major feels of sadness

Lloyd

"Avery?"

"Who is this," Avery answers.

"I-it's L-Lloyd," I answer shakily.

"What's wrong?" Avery asks roughly.

"N-nothing," I says trying to not stutter. I failed. I didn't want to tell him, but I do at the same time.

"That's bullshit Lloyd. What's wrong?" He asks again.

"I-I.. it's kai."

"What did he do?" He says seriously.

"Nothing!" I answer quickly, "It's m-me I did something. I just don't know myself anymore.."

"Come over to my place. We will talk," Avery tells me. He gives me his address and then we say our goodbyes and hang up.

His apartment is close to where I was. I begin to walk to where he told me. I went to the 3rd floor and looked for the number 32. I finally found it and knocked on the door.

He opens the door and hugs me. I hug him back tightly. I needed a hug. We both pulled back from the hug. He invited me into his apartment.

"So tell me what's wrong," Avery said as we both took seats on his couch.

"K-kai saw the.." I couldn't say the words. I could never say I self-harmed out loud. I can't even do it when I'm alone.

What if Avery runs? What if he thinks I'm a psychopath? What if he yells at me and says I deserve it? What if he thinks I'm a freak.

"the paper," I finish after a few moments. It was the first thing that came to my mind. I just couldn't tell him. I just can't.

Lies, lies, lies. You're such a fucking liar Lloyd. Maybe you should tell him. He would just call you names and then you would kill yourself because your a fucking baby.

I begin to tear up. I hate my mind. I hate it so much.

"Lloyd don't cry," Avery says putting his arm around me, "Now what was on the paper?"

I burst out crying. I just can't hold back the tears much longer. I just hate crying. It makes me feel weak. It's because you are weak.

"It h-had e-everything. It had what I hated and loved on it. It had what a thirst for. It had what I beat up myself for. It had my happiness, sadness, my relief," I say talking about my scars, my burns, my self hate.

"Shh Lloyd it will be okay," Avery says and hugs me. I hug him back,"How about we go to sleep, and clear your mind."

I nod. He turns off the lights and lays next to me on the couch. We cuddle and he falls asleep, as for me I don't. I can't sleep. I was up with the dark part of my thoughts. I didn't fall asleep until 4am.

I woke up around 6am. Avery was laying next to me when I woke up. I smiled, and then remembered yesterday. I wanted to cry. I want to self harm.