Thanks i try

c stands for crap

I'm going to switch stories constantly so sayonara New Yorker shit for now we're heading on to xpilxiegirlx and bob ok start planning for your funeral cuz this will give you stage 7 cancer also I'm using autocorrect no proofreading!! Also no more stupid spelling errors hahahahaha

pilx woke up groggily and rubbed her eyes. light flooded into the dim room. "what the fuck." she thought. "good god in hell who created this unholy time of the day? wake me up at 8 noon is too early."
she was going to go back to dreamland happy land whatever fuck land when she discovered minty wasn't in her bed. Lol. probably out partying with her non-existent bear friends LOL sorry. pilx, being an overprotective owner, reacted very calmly to the situation. "BOB MCMUFFIN WENDICJED! WHERE IS MY FUCKING MINTY GIVE ME BACK THE BEAR RUGHT NOW I WILL HANG YOU UPSIDE DOWN AND FEED YOU TO DOGS FUCK YOU"
bob lazily walked in and said "what." while scratching his head which had multiple rotten eggs stuck in it. disgusting bob lol. "oh, minty? she is...."
"DEAD?" pilx yelled out in distress. very calm right? learn from her. "no you piece of shit stop jumping to conclusions. instead jump off the cliff." then bob laughed himself silly. I laughed too I'm ashamed to admit whatever let's move on.
"she's hanging on the push-up bar that you're too short to reach. try finding the chairs and poles LOL"
pilx stared at him. "if the chairs are missing how'd you eat breakfast?"
bob wiggled his eyebrows. "I sat on your dad's lap. he's my sugar daddy now."
pilx almost hurled. too much drama 4 today.

"I am going to sleep when I wake up next year makE SURE MINTY is down from that push-up bar" she screamed at bob.
"god dammit he's just like my brother." she hissed between her teeth.
"Oh but I AM your brother." bob smiled at her. "You've been married to your brother for 9 years."
and pilx decided it was time to throw herself off the cliff.

LOL IM GOING NOWHERE WITH THIS STORY BYE I HOPE YOURE HAPPY LIA this isn't funny at all I don't have a sense of humor