19/04/14
I still can't face the world... Just too soon...
Whenever I opened my eyes I see him, with his glistening eyes and sparkling smile...
I still recall that day... That moment... When time stood still as I....
13/09/13
"So what would be the first thing you'd buy?"
"Hmm, the very first thing?" I looked into the open air, I was cuddled around the flickering fire with Jay, he watched me as I giggled playfully.
"Come on the questions easy enough, the fist thing you'd buy with one million pounds?" I took in the scent on his aftershave and deeply inhaled. I looked into his deep blue eyes.
"Ok, a Damond ring" I giggled, he looked down on me and furrowed his eyebrows.
"Why that?" I scoffed, I put up my hands
"My hands do get a bit lonely you know" I laughed and stood up. "Coffee?" Jay didn't reply, I smoothened out my jumper and asked again. Jay shook his head gently and fell back into a trance of watching the fire...
"I'm sorry Mia... I can't provide you with the things you want..." I heard him whisper as I walked into the kitchen... Why I let him carry on dwelling in that kind of mindset....? I really don't know.... I really don't.
The following day I bid farewell to my love as he walked out of the door, he was wearing a leather brown jacket with navy blue denim jeans. I requested for him to stay in for the day because the strong winds were worrying but he insisted that he had some 'important work' to carry out. Of course he still went, he left me stirring soup which I'd specially prepared for him because it was his favorite.
Work was hard to find in this area of the country, we were struggling to make ends meet. In the day as I went to find bargains and banter for vegetables to cook with Jay would go and find work, typically he'd arrive home exhausted from a temporary days work. The conversations. He had were all the same, young Jay would approach them and ask:
'Say... Don't suppose you have any work going? I'll do it for minimum wage and almost anything will suffice, I will do it all.... Cars, electric, manual labour... As long as I get something to take home...' He would get taken pity of and somebody would give him a days work, some days were better than others... Each day was different...
Jay returned that night, battered. He had a cut in his forehead that lead a stream of blood down the side of his face. The colour from his face had been drained and his eye had been bruised very deeply. His clothes were torn and he walked with a limp, as soon as he walked through the door he almost dropped to the ground, Id never seen him so reliant on the staircase to guide him. I was fast asleep when he came in, but as he stumbled into the room I dashed to his side. I remember asking him what had happened and him just trying to shrug me off. I let him fall asleep, but I was too tensed to let myself drift off...
