Saying Goodbye

Saying Goodbye - Hello, Chapter 2

"Hi i'm Taylor" I say forcing a smile.

I hear a few "Hi's" in response

"Taylor you can sit next to Chase" Miss Selfridge says pointing in his direction. My smile turns into a frown.

"No, not him." I whisper silently.

"Is everything ok?" Miss Selfridge asks.

"Yes, everything's fine." I say, more to myself than to her. I force my smile back on and walk to my sit.

"Hey neighbour." He greets. I roll my eyes and sit down. I refuse to let him get close to me again.

"That's not very nice now, is it?" He says pouting "When someone greets you you're supposed to greet them back..."

"Hi!" I almost yell but somehow manage to keep calm.

"Hey new girl." A new voice snakes it's way into the conversation. I look over and there's a boy sitting to Chase's left.

"Hi." I smile and wave politely.

Chase scoffs" Oh so he get's a nice and bright hi and I get that cold, hateful look on your face?" I quickly look away, he looks really upset and I starting to feel guilty.

Don't you dare apologise, remember what he did to you! Ana yells

Yeah, he's the reason you have to be perfect, we have to show him how thin and beautiful you can be Mia joins in. I suddenly feel like throwing up. They're wrong, I know they are but it's like second nature to me. I grab my back and run to the bathroom (thankfully someone showed me around the school in the morning.) I shut the door and soon feel myself emptying out my breakfast. I flush and start crying, because of the pain and because I told myself I wouldn't do this anymore. I feel like a failure.

"Are you okay?" my thoughts are interrupted.

"Go away Chase." I sob uncontrollably.

"I can't do that." He sighs.

"Why not?" I hiccup.

"Because, this is the boys's bathroom." He states uncomfortably, shuffling his feet a little.

"Oh." I nervously whisper. I feel so embarrased. I walk out with my eyes glued to the floor and wash my face in the sink then dry it with one of my kleenex tissues. I study myself in the mirror for a while, pretending to not notice Chase's worried eyes. I look around, so it is the boy's bathroom.

Don't you feel so much better? Mia asks reassuringly from the sink across the room. She looks like my reflection, red face from crying and a little bit of running eyeliner. She looks so beautiful. No, I can't let myself give in, I have to get out of here. I give Chase one last glance before running out of the school.

I somehow found myself in the park. After what feels like hours of slowly swinging on the swing i feel myself pick up speed.

"Hey." Chase chuckles nervously. He steps out from behind me and sits on my left. I turn to face him.

"How long were you there?" I ask.

"Long enough." He replies. He looks down guiltily now. "I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"For doing this to you, for everything." He shrugs. I almost break down in tears right there and then.

No, don't waste your tears on him, he's not worth it. Ana yells silently. I decide that for the first time, she's right.

"So, what do you want me to say, you want me to forgive you then we can get back together and live happily ever after? Well guess what Chase, I'm done crying over you. It's too late to apologize now. You didn't apologize back then when I was lying on that hospital bed dying so now you decide to apologize? It's too bloody late!" I shout bitterely, unable to stop the tears freely falling down my face. I leave him there with an unreadable look on his face.

"Oh, honey you're home early-" My mum starts but stops as soon as she sees my face. She sighs dissaprovingly and I run up to my room and cry, just like I did yesterday and pretty much everyday before that.

"So much for that promise." I whisper sadly before sleep wraps it's welcoming arms around me.

I have that dream again. I'm being chased by a shadow. It always finds me, no matter where I run, no matter where I hide. It's getting inching closer and closer as my energy runs out. It corners me and I have no where left to go. It's got me.