Baby, Don't Cry

The Family Day

“Trying to make someone fall in love with you is about as pointless as trying to control who you fall in love with.”--- James Earl Jones

I was on a bus on my way home. I received a call from Baekhyun. It was two days after I told him about JiBin’s request. Unfortunately it’s not good news. He said that they’ll be out of the country most of the time at the end week of that month because of the SM Town concerts, other shows and also the M-NET’s music award. He kept on saying sorry and we’ll duscuss about JiBin as soon as their scheds are cleared.

“Ah~ JINJJA! This guy… I told him to just say no and now…. Ah!” I kinda blurted out loud in irritation. I saw a lady just acrossed my seat was looking at me with ‘is-this-girl-nuts’ expression on her face. I smile at her and turn to look away. “Aigoo, what should I do now?” I said again in a whisper that only I could hear.

When I got home I saw JiBin asleep on the couch and the television was on. I guess he fall asleep waiting for me while watching. I took the remote control of the tv which was still on his hand. I press the power off button on it. I slid my arms beneath him. I carried him to his room and lay him on his bed. I brushed his hair by my hand and landed a kiss on his forehead. I can’t believe that it’s been two years since I have him. He has grown so fast. I remember those night I saw him crying in his sleep. I hear him calling his dad. Then, I also remember my nights before, after my parents died, I would wake up in a bad dream calling their names. It was really hard. I wonder if he was feeling like that too. Sometimes I also wonder what he was thinking. Does he want to see his dad again? There were times I wanted to ask what he feels about staying with me or is he mad at his father. Does he miss him? Sometimes I wish he would just open it all up to me so I know what to do to ease what he was feeling. I’m really thankful Baekhyun is there for him. I hope he won’t be upset too much when I told him about the Family Day presentation he requested.

The next morning JiBin and I were facing each other at the table having our breakfast. I decided to tell him earlier about the busy scheds of Baekhyun so he won’t be too upset and we could think of something else for his school performance.

“JiBin~ah, do you have something else in mind for your school performance?” I started to asked. He looked at me and just shook his head to say no. “How about the two of us do a dance number?” I suggested.

“But noona you can’t dance, right?”

Ah~ that’s right, I don’t know how to dance… How stupid of me! “Oh well, how about we just sing?” I suggested again. Atleast I’m more confident with my voice than dancing.

“Noona, did Baek hyung said no? He told you he can’t perform with me, right?” JiBin said as his expression become sad.

“I’m sorry JiBin~ah, but you see, your hyung is busy. They are out of the country most of the time nowadays. So, I don’t think he can come to your school.” I explained, feeling really sorry as I see the disappointment in his eyes.

“I understand noona. It’s okay.” He said trying to hide that disappointment with his smile. “Let’s just sing together.”

“I’m really sorry JiBin~ah, just tell me want song you wanted to sing so I can look for it and we can practice.” If there’s one thing that I hate making him feel is to be frustrated. I don’t want to cause him more pain that I know he was just hiding.

“I don’t have anything in my mind yet noona. Can I think about it first?” he said with a smile and continues eating his food.

“Of course… just tell me anytime if you have one already.”