Silence

Part One

Trigger Warning Beyond This Point

You're depressed, you're too quite, you're ugly, you're stupid, you're tired and it's time to stop, you want to end it, you're lonely, nobody loves you and you're fat!

"Patrick, get your ass down here, and clean this damn house!" She yelled, she hated me; she always hated me. Ever since I was a kid.

I missed my father, he died years ago from war. Something she always blamed me for. "Come here you little pussy boy!" She yelled at me; as I washed the dishes.

I walked over to where she sat and got down on my knees. She grabbed my arm and burnt it with her lit cigarette, "That's what you get for being a emo little fuck boy!" She yelled into my ears.

It hurt; I always hurt. You're pathetic, you're useless, you're stupid, kill yourself! She shoved me away from her. "Get the fuck away from me you pathetic little shit. I fucking hate you!" She yelled; she slipped of her shoes and chucked them at me.

It hurt; just like everything. "you're the cum shot I should have swallowed, you faggot." She whispered; It was only loud enough for me to hear.

I went into my bedroom and closed the door slowly. I sat on my floor, the room was about the size of a large closet. I had three posters: 1. ghostbusters 2. David Bowie 3. Star Wars; The three things that actually made me happy. I sat down on the floor and shed a few tears, I have been depressed for as long as I could remember.

I shifted over to the bed and under it was a box. On the box was marks and designs, I had inherited from my grandmother after she passed away. I opened the box slowly, I was nervous but not afraid. Inside the box was a black cloth; I unfolded the cloth to reveal a blade.

I reached for the blade, my hand sort of shaky. I took the blade out of the box and placed it on the floor I lifted up my shirt; I stared at the other scars from the other days. I wish my life could be better. My arm still burned from the cigarette, I picked up the blade and slid the it a crossed my chest. The pain was nice; another sort of happiness that I had; I also enjoyed the burns that she put an my arms, they relaxed me in a weird way.

Blood spewed threw my chest; it was just a fountain of happiness for me. I took the black cloth and carefully cleaned my chest as well as I could. The black cloth was good for the blood, nobody ever noticed it. "PATRICK!!!!!" She cried again.

I was scared, I knew she had been calling me for a while and I know how she gets when she gets impatient. It's terrifying.

I pulled down my shirt and bolted for the door. I ran down the stairs as fast as I could; almost tripping. I wiped the tears from my face before coming completely face to face with her. "What the fuck took you so long. Bitch when I call you, you come!" She yelled at me; I looked down at my shoes.

"HEY! Look at me you stupid little cunt! I have had it up to here with you" she said making a hand motion, "I fucking hate you and I can't wait to throw your ass out, you are the biggest mistake I have ever regret!" I wanted to cry, and wanted my blade to cut my chest again but I was here staring at her.

"WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING TALK YOU RETARDED FAGGOT!" I know you like dick you fucking fag!" She yelled; then got up from her chair and began to hit me in the face serval times with her ring covered fingers.

Blood flew everywhere as she beat me to the ground. "Now clean that shit up, cunt." She said; then sat down and changed the channel.

I turned my head and a small smirk lit up on my face, then pain was happiness for me. I wiped the blood from my eye brow and got up from the floor. I went to go and get stuff to clean the blood. "Hey! Get me my liquor while your in there!" She demanded.

I opened the cabinet and grabbed her bottle. She didn't need a cup because first of all she would just throw the glass cups at me then they would brake and it would just make more work for me, and second she was an alcoholic and drank strait out of the bottle like it was water.

I handed her the bottle and headed for the front door. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" She asked.

I pointed at her bottle then pointed to the door. "Here, I want scotch and more liquor." She handed me twenty bucks. "Clean your fucking face before you leave." She said.

The sun hit my face. It felt nice; another one of my happy places, I looked over to my left and saw a moving van. I guessed that we had new neighbor and the new neighbor's had a son who was about my age. I had caught his attention and he ran up to me. "Hey my name is Pete, what's yours?" He asked; his smile was warm and welcoming.

I looked at my shoes. "Hey...are you okay?" He asked, I pointed to my throat and tried to explain that I don't speak.

He understood quickly what I meant and stopped smiling. "I'm sorry, I didn't know." His frown looked fake but I didn't expect him to understand me. I pointed to the road, I had to leave before she found out I took to long. He nodded, "Can I come with you?" He asked.

I shrugged, "So where are we headed?" He asked but then quickly remembered that I didn't speak.

"Why are we here?" Pete asked, I walked inside the liquor store and met up with the clerk.

"Hey Patrick! You want the usual?" Cass asked me. He grabbed the two bottles and handed them to me.

"Who's your friend?" He asked, "Hi I'm Pete." He said handing his hand to Cass. "Castiel but they call me Cass for short." He said.

"I have a question, um why doesn't he speak and why is he buying alcohol?" I looked at Pete then at Cass and nodded giving him the approval for him to know.

"Well Patrick has never spoken in his life, and the alcohol is for his mother." He said. "OHHH!!!" Pete moaned.

We had walked home; said good bye, and went our separate ways. "Finally you stupid bitch, I'm thirsty!" She yelled at me.