Ethan's POV
As I lay, as lonely as I am every day, I wonder what life could of been like if I hadn't become a member of the Sidemen.
Firstly, I wouldn't have the friends I have today. I'd be even more lonely than I am now and people would think I'm weird.
Secondly, I wouldn't have had the chance of traveling the world and seeing new places. All the conventions were a great way of spending spare time.
Thirdly, it's as if I have a job without working. I love playing around all day with my mates online and it never felt difficult to do.
Until lately.
A few months before I joined the Sidemen, I was depressed. No, it wasn't the usual "I'm depressed because I'm sad occasionally" no it was serious.
If it hadn't been for my brothers, I would be dead by now. They had found me multiple times with a noose around my neck or pills near my mouth. They were my saviors.
I had to be watched, 24/7 by one of them for months. I had some prescription drugs that helped but there was always a chance of me freaking out and attempting suicide.
The only reason I was allowed into the Sidemen was because all of them swore to an oath that they would protect me and make me realize how important life was. They succeeded so well, and I tip my hats off to them for that.
But lately, there had been a change. So many things were changing and I can't handle it. The stress of youtube is getting to me and the hate comments are making me hate myself so much more.
I'm always tired even though I sleep all night, I knew that it was coming back. It's like a shadow, always following without you knowing till one day, you see it and you can't un see it.
So I don't know what to do anymore? Give up?
Just as I'm deep in thought my phone rings. Without even looking at the called ID I answer.
" 'ello?" I say.
"Behz, go to the hospital! Freya's there and somethings wrong! Pick up Harry on the way!" Simon shouts through the phone.
"I'll be there in 10" I hang up and get ready.
Suddenly, it all becomes clear to me. I have to live and I have to be there for my friends because that's would they have always done to me. They were the reason I was alive and I have to be there for them.
I have to repay them with everything I can.
~~~~~~~~~
Idek if this was confusing or weird but I know it's shit.
Sorryyy
See ya
X
