5SOS Gay Smuts

Remedy *mashton*

thanks to Miss_Piggy123 for requesting

*may be triggering

*top! Michael/fetus! Ashton 

Ashton's POV

As I looked at the door in front of me, debating whether I should just go for it and knock, I could feel my anxiety getting worse. My wrists began to get itchy, my fresh cuts finally starting to dry. God I hate myself for being like this, why me? I ask myself that question every single fuckin day. Is it fate that I was diagnosed with depression, is it a sign from someone telling me to kill myself. Sometimes it gets so bad that I want to do just that, pull the plug. I've been thinking about it for a while, and I know it sounds bad, but I can't live on like this anymore.

 I was about to walk away from the door that was giving me a mixture of emotions, when it swung open. "Hey Ash" Mike said as he studied the expression on my face. "Hi" I responded, not knowing what to say. Mikey knows that I'm depressed but he doesn't know that I'm currently planning to end my life. He realized what I was here for and automatically pulled me in for a hug. "want to talk about it?" he asked. I just shook my head, and he accepted that for an answer. 

He invited me inside and we took a seat on the sofa, laying in one of the most comfortable positions possible. I would never tell him this, but the only reason I came here was to say my last goodbye. "Do you want to watch a movie?" I nodded my head, hoping the message would get across. 

As we lay in that position, watching Home Alone, I whispered a small "Michael?" "mm?" he replied. "its getting worse" and I knew that he new exactly what I was talking about. He just pulled me closer, not pressuring me to say any more. That is one of the most amazing things about Michael, he never pressures me to talk or elaborate, he knows that if I don't want to talk it means that I don't want to talk, and most importantly he is just always there for me with open arms, waiting for me to need a hug or cuddles. 

"imthinkingofcomitting" I blurted out, as soon as I said it, I new he was going to try to convince me to change my mind. I started sobbing, he acted like he didn't hear it, and started caressing my arm, accidentally pulling my sweater up my arm revealing my scared wrists. I cried harder, curling into a ball.

"Ashton, its okay, Ashy?" he whispered in my ear, "Its okay" he repeated. I started to calm down, he grabbed a box of kleenex and dried my teary eyes. After I had fully recovered he made me stand up, "we need to clean those properly Ash" he said, I nodded, knowing that he was right.

He took my hand and brought me to his washroom, getting me to sit on the counter. I took my sweater off, and he grabbed all of his medical stuff. He inspected my wrists, kissing each scar and fresh cut. He started treating them, making sure that they don't get infected. 

"I-I have m-m-more" I said, my voice still shaky from all the crying. "where Ash?" he asked quietly, not wanting to scare me away. instead of telling him, I just took my shirt off, showing him all the deeper cuts on my sides. "Oh, Ash" he mumbled to himself, he realized that they go further down my body. "where do they stop?" he asked, genuinely curious as to how far under his friend actually is. I pointed to a spot on my upper thigh, he nodded, understanding what I was going through. 

He started cleaning my scars, kissing as he went further down. As he passed a spot on my v-line, I moaned. I went to cover my mouth, but he grabbed my hand, "Ashy, this is supposed to make you feel better. That can't happen when you're embarrassed." I nodded, and continued to moan as he repetitively kissed that one spot. He looked up at me, asking permission to take my pant off, so that he could clean the cuts on my legs. I nodded, now feeling fully comfortable around him. 

After he was done, he helped me off the counter, placing me gently on the ground. I followed my impulse and leaned in for a kiss, I pulled away quickly, not realizing what I had just done. "nononononono,iamsosorry,whatwasithinking,ibettergo." I mumbled regretting every decision I've ever made. But just like the gentle man he is, he shut me up by sealing our lips back together. I completely melted into his arms as he brought me back to the sofa, laying me down.

"wow" he said, in shock. I looked down at my scars as I felt heat rise to my cheeks. I began to feel self-conscious as I realized that I still wasn't wearing pants or a shirt, the only piece of clothing on my body being my boxers. I attempted to cover my body with my arms "don't cover yourself baby boy, you're beautiful" I blushed once again at his words. He took his shirt off, and I couldn't believe how amazing his body is, I just wanted to reach up and touch it. So that's exactly what I did, with a boost of confidence, I reached out, and caressed his chest. 

I pulled Mikey down to the couch, getting on top of him. I started at his mouth, kissing the corners, then moving towards his neck. Within an instant, I found his sweet spot, I made a mental note so that I could remember exactly where it is for the future. I started nipping at the skin, creating a small hickey. I could feel his pants getting tighter, and all I could think about was that I was creating his hard on. I moved down his neck, kissing, licking, and nipping everywhere, until I reached his pecks. I licked all around his hard nipples, sucking and pulling slightly. A string of moans and profanities left his mouth as I moved on to his other nipple.

I traced his prominent v-line with my tongue. I just couldn't get enough, I looked up at him, silently asking for permission to pull down his sweat pants. He nodded, practically begging me to suck him off. Michael slipped his hand into my knotted hair, as I pulled his pants and boxers down in one go. I gasped as his dck sprung up and hit his stomach, I never realized that it was that big. 

I licked up the backside of his big cck "baby boy, no teasing" I took his tip into my mouth, sucking the precum out. He pushed my head down on his dck, making me take more of him into my mouth. I hollowed my mouth out, going up and down on his member. My name flowed out from between Michael's lips along with multiple moans. It didn't take long before he came in my mouth, making me swallow it all.

He flipped us around, going in to kiss me. "eww no, I just swallowed your juices, do you really want me to kiss you?" I asked "but don't you want me to make sweet love to you?" he sounded offended "maybe another time, can we just cuddle?" "of course" he said with a big smile "I'm tired anyways"

After watching 3 more Christmas movies, I was getting ready to leave. He ran out of the room to grab something, he came back with a marker. "okay, I know it's going to be hard, but every time you get the urge to cut I want you to write another letter of my name." he started out by writing a small M on my arm. "anytime you ever feel like you want to pull the plug, I want you to try your best to push through that feeling and think about me. Do this for me, okay?" he continued. "I want to see Michael Gordon Clifford on your arm okay? and then we can find a new name like...Ashton Fletcher Irwin" I nodded "I want you to think about who ending your life would impact, you of course, but who else, me, your mum, your sisters and brothers, your psychologist. If you cut your life short, everyone else will think that it was their fault, not yours. Do you really want your mum to spiral into the same deep dark hole that you did?" he finished his little speech off with a hug and a peck on the lips.