So as the holiday season rolls around I find myself getting more and more stressed out for more than one reason.
1.) My cousins hate me on both sides of my family so I have to find ways to avoid them
2.) I have to think of gifts for my friends that they won't want to throw away (I made bath bombs this year)
3.) My birthday is a month after Christmas so this year I have to worry about my 16th birthday. I think we might go bowling, then hang out in cosplay. I'll be sure to take pictures for you guys.
So in all this hustle and bustle, I really need someone to vent to.
And I've been going to my school's psychiatrist every other week just to talk about how things are going with my parents and shit.
BUT FOR THE PAST FOUR WEEKS, SHE HAS BLOWN ME OFF!
The first week I was fine cause I didn't really have anything I needed to discuss, but it's nice to get out of the first ten minutes of my block period of US History every once in a while.
But she didn't show up.
So in hopes that she would, I sat in her office for a good twenty minutes and outlined one of the drawings I was going to show her.
She didn't show up.
Then the next time I was scheduled to see her was this week Thursday -- Our usual day -- and I went down there at our usual time.
And I should tell you that she fills out passes for me so I can leave in the middle of class to come see her.
So I went at the usual time.
8:35
I saw her in the hallway walking away from the office.
She saw me and told me she needed to head to a meeting so she couldn't meet with me today.
It was fine because she told me that she would send me a pass the following day.
So I waited for that one.
It never arrived.
And it was fine...
For a while...
Until I got home.
I was casually looking through my friend's Snapchat stories -- Something I rarely do -- and saw this one in particular.
It had three certain people in it that I guess set me off or something and I really had no reason to break down over it since I was cool with these people.
But I guess it was because I hadn't seen one of them in forever and I missed them
(Because my mother is a homophobe and won't let me hang out with them anymore. I like them and I told them this and they said they wanted to give it a try but we haven't gotten to because my mom is a huge dick.)
HOLD UP I NEED TO PAUSE THIS FOR A SECOND!!!
I'M WRITING THIS AT 11 AT NIGHT AND MY DUMBASS OF A BROTHER IS SNOW BLOWING OUTSIDE!
I'M TRYING TO WRITE GODDAMMIT!!!
WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS HE DOING!!!
Anyways...
I just got really set off and upset that I started crying.
Hard.
And I texted one of my friends about it and this was the actual response that I got.
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This was the exact opposite of what I wanted to hear so I was only crying harder at this point.
But I texted one of my other friends and she consoled me until I was fine.
But seriously.
I texted her first and the least she could do was try to seem empathetic about it.
And to think.
This was all because of my Psychiatrist not showing up.
She's supposed to make me feel better, not feel like shit.
Oh well.
Well thank you guys for listening to me rant and shit.
I have a surprise later next week to make up for it!
