Rudra Hashish Roar

Chapter 1 - Her story !

Dark thoughts encircling her mind , puff after puff,she is losing herself deep down , sitting by the cold railing of her lavish flat , lost in the horrible memories of her past , the floor smeared around with the "pot", paper rolled up to sniff the powder in , her eyes , blood short but deep red ! What is that she is craving for ?!

Her dad , a retired army officer , too strict to handle !! He always used to say -
"Girls should always know their limits , whether it's about saying something, expressing herself , or dressing up ! Your words and your clothes define your true character ! And once , the character is lost , nothing ever can repair the damage ! Boys can protect themselves but you ! You are not that strong !"

These words, they used to hit her in the head like a huge hammer ! Why was her dad like 'this'? It's said that a girl wishes to see a shadow of her dad in her life partner , but this was not the case with Kiara ! She would have preferred poisoning herself than to marry someone like her father ! She never actually had a liking factor for him , never ....

Losing her mom at the age of 5 , she never really got to know what mother's love is ! She always felt like she was being treated like a dog by her dad - following his orders, doing whatever he wanted her to do , and at the end of the day , sitting in her room , sulking for freedom !

Being around a dad like that had kept her away from stuffs like fun , parties , friends ! FRIENDS- yeah , she had none ! In her class , she was the loneliest , but a bright student indeed ! Creative mindset , beautiful handwriting, Envisioned Sketching ! An artist she was ! But her classmates always looked at her as if she was a psychopath !

Social media was the only source she had , though not for making friends , but for knowing the world that existed outside her dooming cage . Her PC was always hit up with the searches for her subjects - Science , Art, History ,etc.

But now that she had completed her schooling , it was time for her to find out what she really wanted to do ! She had forcefully completed her school life opting for Science as her dad wanted her to be a Doctor ! But now , a little version of her in her mind wanted to something of her interest . She always saw her in different places - in the green fields , painting the sunset or on a big stage , with a guitar in her hand , people swaying and waving their hands to her tunes !!! A smile arched up her face whenever such scenes occupied her mind . She used to sketch these scenes on rough pages in her free time and used to pin them up on the walls or doors or the mirror in her room.

Vacation was on . Her dad was busy running to his friends, relatives , or career counselling nerds , asking about the colleges in India her daughter could get in . He used to come home late and then doze off after checking on her daughter. She was not even consulted by him as to what she has to do next in her life - Was she even willing to be what her dad wanted her to be ?? The answer was better known , but she had to be strong enough to take a stand for herself ! It was high time now.

But that night destroyed every tiny feeling she ever had for her papa !
She was sketching a guitar on a page when she heard the main door opening . She knew it was Dad and hid the page under the mousepad and went in the hall. Her dad was looking happy and she knew what would have happened -College ! She gathered up all the guts she could and spoke up .
"Umm Papa, I want to tell you something . "

"Fetch me a glass of water and then , we will fill up the forms to get you in the new college in Karnal. Go fast ." Her dad replied.

Being interrupted in her talks -she was habituated to all that . She brought a glass of water and stood infront of her dad . After he was finished with his babbling , Kiara ,with all her strength, said -

"Papa , I am done now. I know you want me to become a Doctor . But that's not what I want to do with my life. Technical field and Medical craziness don't attract me the way Art and Music does . Please don't shed off my feathers to make a pen that will write my future but on your choice ! I wanna ..." .... The sound of the glass smashing on the floor silenced her .

"Your Life ! Where's your life ?! Everything you have today and everything you are , is my fucking favour on you ! And now , when I want all my favours returned back , you are trying to sneak them away by your bullshit hobbies ! Career and Hobby are two different things , mind well Kia ! I won't let you break my dreams to fulfill your desires. "

"And what about my dreams , Paa ? Are they worth nothing ? Were you bringing me up just to complete your goals killing off mine ? Then , why the hell didn't you kill me ?! Am I such a shame to you and nothing else ? If mumma would have been alive today , then...."

"That bitch ! It's better that she is not. She left me all alone with a dark shadow of her inside you . Thank me , if I would not have accepted you , then you would have been tagged as an orphan today...That bloody slut !"

Her dad kept yelling for minutes that followed . Kiara never knew what kind of bond did her parents shared , but her dad's words were not getting any tolerable now . She had no other option than listening to him . Deep down, she was getting a tinge that her Dad will not listen to any rubbish further and throw her in the M.B.B.S. bin.... she didn't wanted that .

"You and your mom ! Dirty blood .. Never ever try to speak up against me or else I would throw you out of this house . And if you want to persue and chase your dreams ,then i won't finance you anymore . "

Kiara could no more handle all this . Her Dad sat on the sofa holding his head in his hands . She went into her room and locked herself in. After thinking a lot , she kept her head on the PC table and tried to stop her tears when she saw the guitar sketch ,half completed under the mousepad. Her tears had ruined the sketch and she could relate her future getting ruined like that. The next early morning , she stood up , packed her stuff in a suitcase- her mother's photo , her clothes , her books , hung her guitar on her shoulder and left the house with a note on the bottle of the beer that her dad was holding , laying unconscious on the couch , saying -

"This was always a house ! It never became a HOME for me !"

Remembering that night , here she is today , by the railing , smoked about 34 lines of heroin . What's wrong in smoking pot if it gives you immense satisfaction that you are deprived of in your life ? Even Shambhu , the most worshipped divinity in India is said to be smoking marijuana on a regular basis. Then why can't she ?! Waving like a coconut tree during a tornado, she stood infront of the mirror , long brown hairs swirling about her waist , her eyes smudged with black mascara , her soft pink lips smeared with white powder all over , her soft hands with black scars of cigarette burns, holding the silk white bedsheet against her bare body , her face cut and figure - killer! Her deep red eyes making her vision blurred again....

"Hey babe ! Up for round 2 ?!" A guy with no clothes on , asked her mischievously.
"Why not ?!" and the silk sheet fell off , revealing her heavenly body.

This was what she was enjoying in the kaif of marijuana, but deep down , she knew she needed someone mature enough...who would know her worth more than anyone else, would love her in every phase of life .

That someone was about to enter her life and that's when the tables will get turned ...

How did Kiara get so terribly addicted to weed ?
Where was she now ? What was she doing for a living ?
Did she ever contact her father again ?

Find out the answers to these queries in the upcoming chapter .