Dreaming About You - A CaptainSparklez FanFiction

Chapter Twenty-Two - If Only I Believed You

Chapter Twenty-One - If Only I Believed You

ALI'S POV

I pulled apart from Jordan and looked at Morgan. I took a deep breath. Okay, Ali, you're already pretty deep into a situation here... don't make it any worse.

I walked up to Morgan and took another breath. "Hi, I'm Ali," I said, smiling slightly. I saw her shake her head at me in disgust and before I could process anything, she slapped me.

I saw her hand move next to her face and bring it to my cheek. I stumbled back, holding my cheek, feeling the stinging slightly die down.

Before I could react, I felt Jordan grab my arms and pull me back. "Ali, are you okay?" He whispered, moving my hand from my face.

"Wow, Jordan," I heard Morgan say, her voice cracking. I felt slight sympathy for her but I pushed it away.

"I really thought that you were different. You're just like all the other guys I dated, the ones I told you about, and you listened. Now you're with this whore," she finished, tears now staining her cheeks.

I look at her, her eyes were already starting to puff and swell. She let out a small hiccup, turned around, and ran off, her combat boots making loud noises as she ran along the sidewalk.

Jordan and I just stood there, in shock. I felt Jordan let out a small breath. "Come on, Ali. Let's go to my hotel room and pick up my things."

I nodded slightly and climbed into the car without looking at Jordan.

I feel so horrible for Morgan... maybe her and Jordan were meant to be together. I mean, she is prettier, definitely smarter, less suicidal, and just generally a better person than I am, or I'll ever be.

"Jordan?" I said quietly, watching him drive on the highway.

"Hmm.." he said, looking at me quickly with a half-smile.

Oh god, he's so hot when he does that... I think, smiling sheepishly. My smile vanished instantly when I thought of him doing that half-smile next to Morgan and seeing her melt just like I did.

I looked down at my hands, and I felt Jordan's right hand reach over and put it on mine. "What's wrong, Ali? You seem down. Did I do something wrong?" he said, worried.

"No... it's just that... I did. You and Morgan were perfect for each other and now I just ruined it. I'm sorry..." I whispered, choking up.

I saw Jordan pull into the parking lot of the hotel. I looked out the window and thought of everything Jordan did for me, then what I did for Jordan. 

Jordan saved me from killing myself, even when he had no idea who I was, and he still doesn't know that. He was the only reason why I'm still alive. He didn't give up on me entirely when I gave up on him. He supported me, he loved me, he cared for me and comforted me.

But what did I do for him?

I only gave him my love, and pain. Too much that Jordan probably would be happy if I died. All of his problems would go away and he wouldn't have to carry me and all of my burdens on his shoulder.

He was too good for me. I don't deserve him.

I silently cried when I heard Jordan's door open and close. He walked around the car, and opened the door on my side.

He slid his arms under me, and carried me into the hotel, into the elevator, and up to his hotel room, all while I was silently crying on his shoulder.

He set me down on a comfortable couch and slid next to me. He grabbed my hands in both of his, and he looked straight into my eyes.

"Ali. If Morgan and I were perfect for each other, even though we weren't, then me being with you would be a gift that came from heaven," he said, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Ali Jane Keele, I love you more than anything in this world," he whispered. He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back without hesitation, tying my hands around his neck.

And if only I believed you, Jordan. I thought, tears still clouding my eyesight.

---The Next Day---

I sat at the kitchen table of my apartment, drinking a glass of water for my breakfast, since I thought I was too overweight. (Don't forget, she still is suffering anorexia)

Jordan had thought I had already ate while he was in the shower, but I didn't.

He came out of the bathroom, wearing basketball shorts and a black t-shirt. Today was the day, Ali. You'd be better off without him. Don't let him break your heart when he finally realizes. Pretend you don't love him, Ali. Pretend you never did.

"Hey, baby girl," Jordan said, pouring a cup of coffee into a mug, kissing my cheek, then sitting on the other side of the table.

"Jordan, we need to talk," I said with as much stability as I could without my voice cracking. I looked away from his eyes and set my glass of water down.

"Of course," Jordan said, setting down his mug as well.

"This isn't working out. We're just not meant to be," I said, still looking away from him, staring at the ripples of water going through the water in the glass.

I heard Jordan breathe in and out quietly. I finally looked up at him, and saw his mouth slightly open, eyes wide, "No, Ali... Please! Whatever it is, I can change!" he said, standing up and rushing over to me.

When he grasped my hand, I immediately dragged my arm away from him, putting on the best face of disgust as I possibly could without breaking into tears.

Stop acting, Jordan. I know you don't love me. Please just go before I have to say it.

I saw hurt flare in Jordan's eyes and he just stood there. 

Your making me say it, Jordan. I thought.

"Don't you get it?" I yelled. "I don't love you! I never did and never will!" I finished, somehow managing to not make my voice crack.

I saw Jordan's mouth drop open slightly. He took a deep breath and said calmly, "I'll go get my things and leave."

He walked into the bedroom and grabbed his suitcase. He walked back out into the living room and opened the door.

I walked behind him, ready to close the door quickly so I could let the tears behind my eyelids flood. He turned around and looked me in the eyes.

There were tears along the bottom of his eyes. Stop faking it, Jordan! I'm not falling for your tricks anymore! I thought angrily.

"It was great while it lasted. Thank you, Ali. For everything," he said before kissing me one last time. I pulled apart quickly and looked away. The first tear had fallen, and I hoped that Jordan didn't see it.

I crossed my arms and looked down and heard the door close.

I ran into my room and cried.

JORDAN'S POV

"Don't you get it?" Ali yelled. "I don't love you! I never did and never will!" Her voice didn't even tremble. She's not lying.

Who would like me anyways? I thought, while grabbing my suitcase in the bedroom. I'm just a nerd who plays video games on the internet. I don't deserve Ali. All I've brought her is pain. Too much pain.

I walked into the living room where I saw Ali standing there, her arms crossed.

I felt tears spring into my eyes. I turned around before I walked through the open door to the hallway and said, "It was great while it lasted. Thank you, Ali. For everything."

I quickly kissed her. I still felt the spark, but I knew it would be the last one I'd ever feel in my life again. She pulled apart immediately, and I saw Ali put her head down and stare at the floor.

I closed the door and let the tears fall down my cheeks.

I ran into the elevator and cried.

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A/N I hope you guys liked it! I'm starting school tomorrow... :( NOO... D;

Votes and Comments greatly appreciated!

-Sunny