The Lemon Meringue Boy

I'm Dipper Pines. Thirteen year old supermodel and celebrity among my peers and classmates. And if you've seen me or my previous adventures you know that I'm lying to your face. I'm a loser. Well, I guess I'm a loser who saved the world on one to multiple occasions depending on how you look at it, so yeah, you're probably wondering; "What could have possibly happened to this guy that requires an entirely new story? Hasn't he suffered enough?" Rest assured. There's a perfectly reasonable explanation.

    Last year was my first year in high school, and I was so wiped when I got home that I couldn't do jack, let alone remember where I was headed. Freshman year was the worst year I've ever experienced. The school was huge, the other boys were so sweaty I had to breathe through my mouth most of the day, and,worst of all, they were mean.

 Probably about one million people "commented" on my birthmark and I didn't get my growth spurt until three quarters of the way through the year, so that's a thing. It didn't help that half the guys got theirs when they were like, six. 

Mabel was there though, and I would say that I was the one who sent those jerks home crying, but I guess I like my sister too much to take all the credit. Yeah I'm not really the fighting type. I'm more the "hide until the bully forgets why they hate you" type. Or maybe the "accidentally rationalize the situation to much and get punched" type. My usual hangout was the janitor's closet. Pretty cliché on my part.

 So yeah, I forgot I was headed back to the Mystery Shack,and when I heard the news I collapsed. No I didn't faint from excitement. No, I didn't faint from fear. I did, however fall asleep on the spot.