reincarnated strings of red.

The beginning of something new?

He woke up, rubbing his against his eyelids furiously as he sat up. He didn’t- he wasn’t prepared to go for college, not one bit. He was just a graduate from his high school a few months ago! He didn’t want to go back to learning about stuff that didn’t matter to him, further more in depth.    That’s what Eren Jaeger called horror.   

He brushed his teeth slowly, hoping that he wouldn’t have to go today, but the way his mother looked at him while going into the bathroom was downright terrifying. You do not want to mess with Carla Jaeger, not if you have a death wish.    Never. 

  Eren continued to brush his teeth, knowing that he had all the time in the world.    ...   Eren just wanted to live in peace, but he knew vaguely that it wasn’t possible with what he went through centuries ago. His nightmarish memories were still fresh in his mind. 

  Eren Jaeger died in Levi’s arms, the day the titans were finally exterminated. Eren didn’t quite understood it either- maybe it was because of his titan power?-, he just knew that he had woken up in the coffin and was clawing his way out- he barely made it. When he saw his name on the tombstone, deep in the woods he was buried, Eren was shocked that he just stared at it dumbly for a few more minutes. 

  He was dead, to everyone.

  To Levi.   He didn’t know why he couldn’t muster up the courage and run into the village, screaming that he was alive after all. Instead, Eren stood from afar, watching the others moved on slowly without him. He finally left the moment he felt his heart ached so much to a point he was numb, he couldn’t feel- or do anything but to walk away. He was walking away from his family, the only people who knew who he was. It didn’t matter anymore.

He was dead, and everyone was confirmed of that fact. 

  Eren couldn’t find himself to change that firm statement. 

  …  

All these centuries had passed by painfully for Eren. He had to deal with many wars and changes to the world, the people’s mindset were truly horrible when they had experienced nothing but pain, at least Eren knew what happiness was, with his mother, his friends- with Levi.  

The most painful fact, was that reincarnation apparently do exist. 

  Eren had ran into them several times, but he hastily went out from their sight, their mind before they van fully process the feeling of familiarity. He didn’t want to cause them anymore emotional outbursts, since it tend to happen sometimes. When he first met Mikasa during the first world war. They had met when Eren was a soldier, she was a nurse. 

  Her eyes had widened when she saw him, and Eren was too shocked to move.    Tears started to well in her eyes, and she quickly rubbed it away. When Eren asked if she was okay, her answer had shattered his heart, too broken and impossible to piece it back together. 

  “I just thought,” she sniffed roughly, “that I knew you from somewhere and-,” choking back a sob, “my heart really hurts.” Mikasa offered a teary eyed smile to the soldier, who couldn’t seem to smile back because he hadn’t thought to cause any pain. 

  Eren didn’t answer.   But his appearance was enough to caused her pain and heartache, and probably do the same if he does meet anyone else. 

  Eren never wanted to see that sight again, he knew that he couldn’t handle it if he saw Levi instead. He couldn’t do that to his beloved, never- he had suffered enough. Levi had to suffer through the rest of his life mourning and grieving for the man he had barely said ‘I love you’ to. 

  Eren wasn’t sure if he could take it. 

  …  

He had tried to commit suicide a few times, by slitting his throat with a pocketknife he had found somewhere along the lonely road he was travelling. He then woke up again later, after a few days with his skin healed, leaving a permanent scar around his neck. He had worn a bandage since then. People had given him looks but he didn’t have the will to bother.