black.

chapter three

My dad paced back and forth around our living room floor for several minutes before he smacked the tissue box that was sat on the coffee table to the floor. I flinched in fear knowing that my dad was just angry, and upset. I wanted to comfort him and hug him and tell him how much that I love him but, I knew there was nothing I could say or do to control his anger. I wasn’t his little girl anymore, I couldn’t cling on to his leg and beg him to tell me what was wrong with him even though half of the time he would ignore it and tickle me until I could barely breath.

“You think I’m fucking crazy don’t you?” He laughed, his face as red as a beet.

“Don’t you?” He shouted this time he awaited an answer. I shook my head no, and prayed to God in my head that he would settle down.

I haven’t seen my dad this angry since that night. I’ve honestly never seen my dad angry. I would always hear the commotion and hear him yell and scream and throw things but I’ve never physically seen him angry. No matter how mad my father would get with my mom he would never take his anger out on me.

“You’re just like your mom, lying to me.” He began that unusual laughing again and I sank into the seat as he stepped closer to me.

“You’re afraid of me.”

“Yes, you’re scaring me.” I finally admitted

His eyes shut, and his lips parted slightly but no words came out of him mouth.

“Go to bed.” He commanded, and I quickly scurried to my bedroom.

Millions of thoughts crossed through my mind. Thoughts of my dad being on drugs, to thoughts of my dad’s conscience finally getting ahold of him for what everyone thought he had done to my mom. As I got dressed all I could think about was my dad and his behavior from last night. I tugged the cream blouse over my head, and squeezed into my jeans before heading downstairs where the smell of my favorite smell filled my nostrils. Chocolate chip pancakes.

I could tell my dad was in a much better mood this morning and it freaked me out when I noticed he only had a plate of pancakes and orange juice for himself. I scanned the corridor kitchen hoping to find pancakes for me but, there was none.

“There’s more in the fridge.” My dad broke the silence between the two of us and I ignored him by grabbing an empty Glass from the cabinet to fill myself a cup of orange juice.

“Daddy, are you okay?” I asked sitting the half empty glass on the counter. He ignored me with laughter and I was beginning to get sick of him laughing at me as if I was some sort of joke.

“Answer me, please. I’m really worried about you.” The fork dropped from him lips and fell to the plate making more than enough noise this early in the morning.

“Mind your damn business Corina!” I felt my heart leap from my chest when my dad’s hands slammed against the table leaving little puddles of orange juice on the wood.

He stalked into the living room where he had sat on the sofa that I always saw him in. Usually at this time my dad would be getting ready for work in a fancy tailored suit but, not anymore. All he does is sit on the sofa in hoodies and shorts looking like the worlds biggest bum. He occasionally invites mysterious women to our house where I’d hear moans creep out of his room but, he’d be sure to have them gone before sunrise. I guess the women gave him money because I’m not quite sure how he affords to pay bills without a job.

“I know I’ve grown up, and I’m not your little girl anymore but I miss you and I really wish you would talk to me. You’ve been so depressed for the past two years and we barely talk unless I’m asking you a simple question.” I push the subject more following him into the living room hoping that he will give in to my sympathetic speech. But, he doesn’t. He ignores me, like always.

“Well, I’m going to work. I’ll see you at five, I love you.” I press my lips against his cheek and he doesn’t budge. But, he surprises me when he wraps his hand around my forearm and I can feel the tears begin to develop in my eyes.

-I know this chapter is short, I just wanted to update one more time before I went to bed. lol Goodnight:)